


Underground Mysteries: Life's Lost Episode!

by KachiggaTHUNDER



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Multi, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KachiggaTHUNDER/pseuds/KachiggaTHUNDER
Summary: The MTT Network may have had a few bumps and hitches following the arrival to the surface, but that hasn't deterred Mettaton! He's determined to see the success of his latest series, Underground Mysteries!Underground Mysteries answers any and all questions that monsters might have about the Underground. Of course, after a certain point, the questions begin to thin out.Not one to give up easily, Mettaton is determined to rejuvenate the show by finding something truly interesting! Of course, as he and his crew may come to find, some mysteries go unsolved for a reason...
Relationships: Alphys & Mettaton (Undertale), Mad Mew Mew & Mettaton (Undertale), Mettaton & Muffet (Undertale), Mettaton & Napstablook (Undertale), Mettaton & Shyren (Undertale)
Kudos: 9





	1. Who Writes This Stuff?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following a less than successful episode, Mettaton and his crew have a brainstorming session for their next episode.

_ “WELCOME, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER THOUGHT-PROVOKING EPISODE OF... UNDERGROUND MYSTERIES! TODAY, WE’LL BE FOLLOWING THE HARROWING TALE OF A BRAVE ADVENTURER, OVERCOMING THE ODDS ON THEIR JOURNEY THROUGH THE UNDERGROUND!” _

**_Fast Forward..._**

_ “-ALL KNOW THAT WATERFALL CAN BE A DANGEROUS PLACE FOR SOMEONE AS DIMINUTIVE AS YOURSELF! AND THAT’S NOT EVEN TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THE MAELSTROM OF SPEARS BEING THROWN ABOUT! YET, YOU NEVER GAVE UP-” _

**_Fast Forward..._**

_ “-FTER EVERYTHING, AFTER OVERCOMING ALL OF THE ODDS AND EMERGING VICTORIOUS ON THE OTHER SIDE... HOW DOES IT FEEL? YOUR GOALS MAY NOT HAVE BEEN AS LOFTY AS THOSE OF THE EVERYDAY PASSENGER ON THIS RIDE OF LIFE; YOU WERE ALWAYS A QUIET, UNASSUMING SOUL, YEARNING FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU LACKED-” _

**_Fast Forward..._**

_ “-VER GAVE UP. SO, PLEASE TELL US... HOW DID IT FEEL TO FINALLY FREE THE CHEESE FROM ITS CRYSTALLINE PRISON?” _

_The mouse didn’t answer at first. It sat on the table, sniffing at a pen in front of it. Mettaton gingerly placed the mouse back in its designated spot, closer to the microphone. It paused for a moment, before letting out a dull “Squeak.”_

_ “...TRULY BREATHTAKING, FOLKS. WORDS OF WISDOM THAT WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE TO LIVE BY. I’D LIKE TO THANK OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST-” _

_He motioned back towards the table, only to notice that the mouse was no longer present. It could be seen briefly as it scuttled towards the back of the studio._

_ “...OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST WHO CLEARLY HAS MORE INSPIRING ADVENTURES TO EMBARK ON. PERHAPS WE’LL HAVE ANOTHER HEART-WRENCHING JOURNEY TO REPORT ON AT A LATER DATE. UNTIL THAT DAY ARRIVES, WE MUST CONCLUDE TONIGHT’S EP-” _

**_Stop._**

Life on the surface had brought its fair share of challenges for Mettaton.

Despite his universal appeal, flawless appearance and captivating personality, breaking into the media of the surface wasn’t as much of a cakewalk as he had expected it to be.

In the beginning, challenges were to be expected; there was no way that the integration of monsters into a human-dominated society was going to be seamless. Before anything else, there were politics, legal quandaries... the details that Mettaton usually had someone else work out for him. He didn’t really involve himself in such issues unless absolutely necessary.

As a whole, though, things had gone surprisingly well. That was helped in no small part by the fact that modern humans were apparently unaware of the existence of monsters; following the war, any traces of monsterkind were totally removed from any historical records. It had reached a point where monsters were considered to be no more than a myth!

Of course, while some humans were quite welcoming, and some were overcome with a vaguely endearing curiosity, others were... decidedly less pleasant. These unpleasant types made the process of settling in on the surface much more difficult than it needed to be.

Still, nothing would stand between Mettaton and his dreams!

Between radio shows, scattered television appearances and the odd live show, Mettaton managed to make a name for himself. It wasn’t long before the MTT brand had become popular; not yet a household name as he had hoped, but enough to secure him his own TV network. Though he hadn’t quite gained the celebrity status that he was hoping for, he was certainly making solid progress.

Of course, that came with a challenge that never really reared its head in the Underground: competition.

In the Underground, he could do whatever he wanted on a whim. He could produce any idea that pleased him, pick up or drop any show that struck his fancy and drop them just as easily. On the surface, however, he lacked such freedom; should any of his products fail to meet expectations, they would get the axe.

As much as he hated the stifling of his creativity, he could tolerate it for the time being; once he had become the star that he was destined to be, he could do whatever he wanted! The road to success may be a long one, but he’d be building an MTT Resort at the end of that road before he knew it!

Still, he was afforded _some_ liberty in his works; the executives only really stepped in when his works were expected not to turn a profit. He did, however, have one on-going project that he was given some extra leeway with: _Underground Mysteries_.

When monsters first came to the surface, human media and documentaries were saturated with a glut of one-note concepts. “What is a soul?”, “How does monster biology work?”, “Where did monsters come from?” and other drab questions that had been asked and answered who-cares-how-many times over.

Not to mention such charming questions as “Are monsters going to eat my babies?” or “How can I defend myself against the monster menace?”

One thing was abundantly clear; these were all questions asked and answered by humans.

With all of these questions about monsters that had been asked and answered by _humans_ , a brilliant idea had dawned on Mettaton: what questions did _monsters_ have about monsters?

That was the premise of the show. The pitch went well, and Mettaton was given the greenlight to produce the first season of the show, which had been a smash hit. Human viewership dwindled, but the ratings among monsters were phenomenal – enough to warrant another season, at least.

Of course, no matter how gallant and dashing he was, Mettaton was still only one monster. At some point, the well had begun to run a little dry. Admittedly, the past few episodes weren’t necessarily up to standard.

The idea behind “ _Poor Lighting/Rich History_ ” had been solid. A small civilization hidden away from the rest of monster society? The possibilities were endless! The difficulty with that one lay with the interviewees; not only were they wildly uncooperative, but they were also quite difficult to understand. As such, despite the episode being one of his longest, it ultimately contained no information of substance.

The idea behind “ _One Should Never Apologize For Their Art!_ ” was more of a stretch. It was news to him that Hotland even _had_ an art club! He had expected it to be a quaint, heartwarming episode – perhaps not the most informative, but it would have nice visuals and a positive atmosphere. In hindsight, someone should probably have informed him that the club only had a single, very apologetic member.

Still, there had been _some_ quality content that could be salvaged from those episodes. They may not have been his finest works, but they were nonetheless quality content, as could be expected from the MTT brand. Today’s episode, however, contained one massive, glaring problem:

“WE SPENT AN ENTIRE EPISODE... ON A MOUSE.”

This was rock bottom. Even the concept of “ _Preservation of an Ideal (Meal)_ ” was weak, but Mettaton hoped that he could do _something_ interesting with the idea. What ensued was, to be blunt, not very interesting.

“LOOK, IT HAPPENS – THERE’S A DUD EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. EVEN THE GREATEST OF THE GREATS CAN’T AVOID IT.”

He was joined in a conference room by three of his most trusted allies; the few people that had access to the inner-workings of Mettaton’s creative process. Though Mettaton knew that there wasn’t a single idea in his head that he couldn’t turn into solid gold, it _did_ make sense to have a few differing perspectives involved with his planning and preparations.

“STILL – THERE ARE QUOTAS TO BE MET IF THIS PROJECT IS GOING TO STAY AFLOAT. IF WE WANT THIS SHOW TO KEEP GOING, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING BIG – SOMETHING THAT WILL WOW OUR CURRENT AUDIENCE _AND_ REEL IN NEWER VIEWERS!”

“Well... _do_ we want to keep it afloat? I can think of a few more _interesting_ topics that we could be covering! Ahuhuhu~”

Muffet, one of his closest allies, certainly loved to test his patience. Still, no matter how infuriating her attitude could be at times, he couldn’t deny the productive values that it brought to the table – having to explain and justify his projects was invaluable when it came to deciding what needed to stay and what needed to go.

“YES, WE WANT TO KEEP THIS PROJECT AFLOAT. DESPITE ALL OF THE CHANNELS OUT THERE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOR HUMANS, NOT A SINGLE ONE IS ANSWERING ANY OF THE QUESTIONS THAT MONSTERS HAVE! THIS SHOW MAY NOT HAVE A MAJOR IMPACT, BUT IT’S SOMETHING FOR _US_!”

“I see...”

She leaned back in her chair, sipping at a cup of tea nonchalantly. She clearly had no intention of continuing the conversation, so he’d have to assume that his argument was persuasive enough to sway her.

“SO... IT’S TIME FOR A BRAINSTORM! DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY NON-SPIDER RELATED IDEAS?”

Outside of a sharp glare from Muffet, there was no response.

“PERHAPS AN EXPOSÉ ON THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE ROYAL GUARD? THAT MIGHT DRAW IN SOME OF THE HISTORY BUFFS!”

“U-um... sorry if I’m making a mistake, but... didn’t we already scrap that idea?”

As soon as he turned to face her, Shyren shrank back in her seat. Shyren was a close friend whose opinions he valued very highly – even if it could, at times, be quite difficult to coax those opinions from her.

“I-it’s just that... you said that having Undyne in the studio would lead to difficulties in production...? Th-that the costs of any expected damages would, um... not be worth it?”

“...RIGHT YOU ARE, SHYREN. IT’S A GOOD THING WE HAVE YOUR SHARP MEMORY ON THE TEAM, EH?”

He didn’t miss the way her lips curled slightly upward, nor her bashful attempt to draw the attention away from herself. As tempted as he was to make a comment, he decided against it – there was an important task at hand, after all!

“WELL, IF WE DON’T HAVE ANY IDEAS OURSELVES... HOW ARE THINGS LOOKING ON THE FANPAGE?”

“umm... could be better, I guess?”

The final member of the team was – of course – his cousin, Napstablook. Though they weren’t quite as enthusiastic about performing as Mettaton, they were still happy to help out with the behind-the-scenes work.

“no one’s really engaging with the polls or the forum. To be honest, pretty much the only activity is one guy who basically blogs about himself in all-caps and another guy trolling him. That’s... not really helpful, I guess... sorry.”

Given Napstablook’s lacking self-confidence, Mettaton would never agree out loud, but... no, that really _wasn’t_ very helpful.

“SO, TO SUMMARIZE... WE’RE OUT OF IDEAS, WHAT LITTLE CONTENT WE _CAN_ COME UP WITH IS INFEASIBLE FROM A PRODUCTION STANDPOINT... AND THERE’S NO FAN ENGAGEMENT TO WORK WITH EITHER.”

“Don’t forget the abysmal ratings, dearie!” Muffet added.

“RIGHT. _THANK YOU_ FOR THAT, MUFFET.”

An innocent grin was all he received in return. Mettaton did not share her amusement; he was gradually becoming frustrated, as it was very quickly becoming clear that this meeting would yield no substantial results.

“LOOK, WE’LL BREAK HERE FOR TODAY. DON'T THINK THAT WE'RE FINISHED HERE, THOUGH! WE’LL RECONVENE LATER IN THE WEEK... WE _NEED_ TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING SPECIAL, TO GIVE OUR PEOPLE SOMETHING INTERESTING TO LOOK FORWARD TO!”

His words hadn’t quite roused his team in the way that he had hoped; everyone gave half-hearted agreements and assurances as they filed out of the conference room.

Mettaton stayed behind, looking back at the screen. It wasn’t often that he felt ashamed of his work, but... interviewing a _mouse_... at least he could safely say that that was rock bottom as far as ideas went!

He was interrupted from his thoughts by his cellphone ringing. After taking a few seconds to enjoy his amazing ringtone (composed by himself, of course), he answered.

“HELLO, METTATON SPEAKING! FOR ANY BUSINESS RELATED INQUIRIES-”

“Um, M-Mettaton? I-it’s Alphys!”

“AH, ALPHYS, DARLING! ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO HEAR FROM YOU! IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH ON THIS FINE DAY?”

“Y-yeah, um... I was j-just wondering if, um... you were doing anything later? J-just, if you wanted to, y’know, hang out or... s-something?”

He thought about it for a moment. On the one hand, Alphys’ interests could be... underwhelming, at times. Not as a whole, of course, but she could get very invested in things that were... well, _boring_. He had to admit that, on quite a few occasions, their hangouts had been rather dull.

Still... she _was_ his friend. As he had come to learn, sometimes you have to tolerate the interests of others (yes, even if said interests can be a drag) in the name of friendship. Not always, of course, but... friends don’t just leave each other in the dust over such minor disagreements. He could say that with certainty.

“OF COURSE, DARLING! I’LL WRAP THINGS UP HERE AND BE ON MY WAY AS QUICK AS I CAN! TA TA, SEE YOU SOON!”

He had hung up the phone before waiting to hear a goodbye on her end. He could still give it some time – she knew he was a busy robot, after all. He could hang around the studio for just a bit longer – perhaps inspiration would strike!

One more glance at the mouse on the screen, however, told him that it might be better to leave sooner rather than later.

One thought _did_ come to him, though – Alphys was a scientist! If anyone could provide a unique perspective to his plight, surely it would be her?

With a newfound vigour, he found himself moving with just a touch more haste as he made his way towards Alphys’ house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, everybody!
> 
> This fic has been in planning for quite a while. I had to scrap plans multiple times because it wasn't working out, but - like Mettaton - I'm not willing to let go of a good idea. Well, I'm not even necessarily sure as to how good the idea is, but I've grown very fond of it! As such, I'm glad to see it finally coming to fruition.
> 
> This fic will be quite different from my last one - mainly because of who the star is! Mettaton is one of my favourite characters from Undertale, but he's quite different from Papyrus. He's got much more of a mean streak than Papyrus does, and his self-centred nature isn't eased off by a loving, friendly disposition in the way that it is for Papyrus. As such, this fic's tone will be quite different - Mettaton provides quite a different perspective!
> 
> I'll also comment, just for clarity's sake, that Mettaton is in his rectangular form unless stated otherwise.
> 
> On the topic of Mettaton... he's surprisingly difficult to write. As a whole, he tends to come across as a caricature - that's his whole thing. He loves to be this larger-than-life celebrity. That carries with it a significant problem - if you're writing him in-character, you're going to wonder if you're making him too hammy. Plus, despite the fact that he loves himself to a degree that borders on narcissism... he IS still a real character at the back of it all. Between the risk of making him too much of a comic character and the risk of taking away what makes him Mettaton, the line for writing him accurately is surprisingly thin. Hopefully I'll manage to do him justice!
> 
> This fic will also have more of a plot to work with. There will still be a heavy focus on character development and interaction, but there's an actual plan for a story in this one!
> 
> I'm also going to be a little more realistic in how I go about publishing this one. With my last fic, I tried to do daily uploads - it worked for a while, but it was extremely difficult to manage and I ended up getting pretty burnt out for a while. I don't intend on having huge gaps between chapters on this one, but I do plan to take my time a bit more. I've planned quite a bit in advance and have a solid trajectory for a decent amount of the story, so things should be relatively smooth!
> 
> Also, as was the case last time, I have no idea which tags to use. Oh well.
> 
> All in all, this will be quite different of an experience in comparison to my Papyrus fic, but I hope you all enjoy it all the same!
> 
> As for comments on the chapter itself... it's a bit slow and exposition heavy, but I figured it was fairly necessary. That'll be the case for the first few chapters, but once the plot gets kicked into gear things should be more presently focused.
> 
> Thanks for giving this fic a look, I hope everyone enjoys it! As always, any criticism and comments are appreciated!


	2. Persistence is Key... Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton visits Alphys and can't help but quiz her for ideas on the show.
> 
> Of course, Mettaton quizzing Alphys has a tendency to go awry...

Following his departure from the studio, Mettaton had kept a fairly brisk pace as he made his way towards Alphys’ house; he didn’t really _do_ slow, in any sense of the word. He could manage when a scene called for it, of course, but in most situations, Mettaton liked to get from point A to point B as quickly as he could. Nobody liked delays where they could be helped, after all!

As soon as he made his way into Alphys’ neighbourhood, however, he felt himself hesitating.

Even now, it wasn’t too often that Mettaton visited. That wasn’t to say that he was neglecting their friendship, of course – he was making much more of an effort to stay in contact than he was before they had begun to make amends. If she messaged him, he’d make sure to respond – even if work could make it difficult at times.

Still... things weren’t easy following the move to the surface. They both had a decent amount of downtime in the early days, when negotiations and peace talks were still in progress. It was only then that either of them really began to process what had actually happened between them. Some aspects of their relationship were _very_ unhealthy... and he couldn’t deny that he had a significant role in the deterioration that had brought those unhealthy aspects about.

Things were improving, slowly; it began with the re-stablishing of boundaries between them, and the deconstruction of the formula that they had unwittingly allowed to develop. The formula where if Mettaton was unhappy with how he was being treated, he’d just ignore Alphys completely; the formula where if Alphys was unhappy with how she was being treated, she’d go into a downward spiral and let the feelings fester. They had come to a mutual agreement that things weren’t going to get better if they weren’t willing to be honest and upfront with each other.

They had both put the work in, and the foundation was _there_ for a healthy friendship. They could easily go back to how things used to be!

And yet, a not-insignificant part of Mettaton couldn’t help but feel that that notion was somewhat unrealistic.

She had used him. Put together so many elaborate set-ups, all to make herself feel validated. She had been sabotaging his upgrades and development to keep him around longer. He couldn’t deny that part of him was still bitter about that.

On the other hand, he couldn’t say that he was blameless, either. He really ought to have put in more effort with their friendship and, in her defense, she probably wasn’t _wrong_ to think he would have left her in the dust once his body was complete. If _she_ held any resentment, he couldn’t really blame her.

These lingering feelings were the main reason that his visits were so scarce; they were both aware of the ugly history between them. The history that both claimed to have moved past, but both still held onto, to some degree.

It certainly had a tendency to make things awkward, if nothing else.

Still, they were both making an effort. Honestly, Mettaton wasn’t quite sure that that would really be enough to make things work. For now, though, it would have to do.

Steeling himself and shoving his concerns aside, Mettaton rolled up and rapped on Alphys’ front door.

“GREETINGS, ALPHYS! A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER HAS ARRIVED AT YOUR DOOR!”

He heard a fumbling from somewhere around the back of the house. Followed by a fumbling from the front of the house. Followed by the fumbling of keys in the door.

Thankfully, there was no fumbling as the door opened.

“GASP, THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER IS NONE OTHER THAN METTATON HIMSELF! WHATEVER SHALL YOU DO WHEN FACED WITH SUCH A RUGGED ROBOTIC ROGUE?”

“Uh... i-invite him in, I g-guess?”

Alphys may have been a genius in her own field, but she never could follow his lead when it came to showmanship, even in the early days. Perhaps he had been too quick to declare a lack of fumbling at the door.

Still, he wasn’t here to antagonize her. As such, he let himself in with little fanfare. Specifically, he only played his usual fanfare at a third of the volume.

“SO, ALPHYS, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE LAST TALKED IN PERSON!”

“Y-yeah... about th-three months?”

 _Three months?!_ He paused to check, and, sure enough, he hadn’t visited in three months and thirteen days. True, he _had_ been quite busy as of late, but he wasn’t aware of just how much the time had been getting away from him. Old habits die hard, he supposed.

“...IT WOULD SEEM SO. MY APOLOGIES, DARLING. THINGS HAVE BEEN SOMEWHAT DIFFICULT AROUND THE STUDIO LATELY.”

“I-it’s cool! I wasn’t... um, t-trying to throw b-blame around or anything. I, uhh...”

She trailed off. Mettaton fought back the urge to imply that perhaps she _was_ playing the blame game, opting instead to steer the conversation to somewhere less... tension-inducing.

“SO, ANY DEVELOPMENTS IN THE WORLD OF SCIENCE? SHOULD I BE GETTING THE LEGAL TEAM READY TO PUT A PATENT ON METTATONIUM?”

He followed his comment up with some canned laughter to make it abundantly clear to Alphys that he was joking. She didn't always grasp his sense of humour, so he tried to be as clear as possible with her; thankfully, she understood. She let out a short sigh and began to speak.

“N-nothing major. I’ve been... uh, trying to do something with the CORE? N-nothing crazy, but if I could replicate it or something...? I-I dunno... it’s still in early st-stages, but I f-feel like I could make life a lot easier for everybody if I got this idea off the g-ground!”

“FABULOUS, DARLING! THE WAY THAT POWER IS HANDLED ON THE SURFACE IS SO NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED... I’M SURE IT’LL BE YOUR SECOND BEST WORK!”

Her expression made it clear that she hadn’t picked up on his joke this time around. He held his silence for a moment, hoping that it would dawn on her and that she wasn’t stewing on a feeling of being insulted.

Thankfully, it clicked with her after a few seconds.

“O-oh! Heh, r-right...”

Unfortunately, it didn’t quite have the impact he was hoping for.

“A-anyways... how have things been with you? Y-you said it's been busy?”

“EXTREMELY SO, DARLING! I HAVE EXECUTIVES, INVESTORS AND ORGANIZATIONS STIFLING MY EVERY MOVEMENT! LIMITING THE CREATIVE OUTPUT OF A MIND LIKE MINE SHOULD BE A CRIMINAL OFFENSE!”

“Th-that must be why y-you’re working so hard, huh? Was that what that, um... meeting? The thing you were doing earlier...?”

“SHARP AS ALWAYS, ALPHYS! _UNDERGROUND MYSTERIES_ IS ON THE VERGE OF CANCELLATION! IF I DON’T COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO REALLY DRUM UP INTEREST, THEY’LL BE PULLING THE PLUG ALTOGETHER!”

She didn’t seem too perturbed by his plight – in her defense, though, he _did_ have a tendency to let the performer in him out when describing his woes, which could make his sincerity difficult to determine. At the very least, she seemed to be thinking carefully about what to say next, which meant that she hadn’t dismissed his concerns.

“Th-there’s really nothing going on? I... I would have thought that there’d be _some_ qu-questions that people would want answered?”

“YOU’D THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU? YET, FOR ALL OF OUR EFFORTS, THE COMMON PERSON SEEMS TO BE TOTALLY CONTENT TO BE BLISSFULLY UNAWARE OF THE INNER WORKINGS OF THE WORLD! IF ONLY I COULD PICK THE BRAINS OF AN INQUISITIVE MIND, LIKE... LIKE...”

A brief pause for dramatic effect. Once he was sure that enough anticipation had built up, he went in for the kill.

“...LIKE A SCIENTIST, PERHAPS?”

“E-eh?”

“TO THINK, THE ANSWER HAS BEEN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME THIS WHOLE TIME! SOMEONE WHOSE WAY OF LIFE CENTRES AROUND ASKING QUESTIONS AND I NEVER THOUGHT TO GET YOU ON-BOARD!”

“...M-Mettaton, we t-talked about this...”

Ah, right. When he had begun to establish the MTT brand on the surface, he had tried to involve Alphys. She was reluctant from the beginning, and it wasn’t long before she bowed out entirely. As her friend, he was willing to accept her stance on the matter.

That didn't mean he wouldn't try to make her reconsider every now and then, of course.

“AH, YOU MISUNDERSTAND, ALPHYS! I MERELY MEANT THAT YOU’RE THE PERFECT PERSON TO ASK A FEW QUESTIONS TO OFF-THE-RECORD, IF THAT SUITS?”

“U-um... what k-kind of questions?”

“WELL... WHAT ARE SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND THAT _YOU_ WANT ANSWERED?”

“...Um...”

She trailed off, getting lost in thought. He gave her a few minutes, teetering back and forth as he waited for an answer.

“...I dunno. M-most of my work was about the b-barrier. I, uh... d-don’t really have the b-best t-track record when it comes to... um, other questions.”

The ensuing tension in the room was thick enough that he’d need a buzzsaw just to move an inch forward. Still, he had a show that needed to be made! 

“LOOK, DARLING – THE AMALGAMATES ARE DEFINITELY A DIVISIVE SUBJECT, I WON’T DENY THAT. STILL... WHAT IF WE LOOKED AT IT FROM ANOTHER ANGLE?”

“M-Mettaton...”

“ONE INTERVIEW! YOU COULD DESCRIBE THE PROCESS, EXPLAIN YOUR PERSONAL THOUGHTS... THIS COULD BE THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT!”

“No. I... I’m not doing that. I... I just want to put the past behind me. That’d o-only invite more problems...”

Rats. He knew that one was a long-shot, but it was worth the attempt.

“STILL, A MIND LIKE YOURS SURELY HAS _SOME_ QUESTIONS? SOMETHING YOU NOTICED THAT DIDN’T QUITE ADD UP? SOMETHING ODD THAT CAUGHT YOUR EYE?”

“N-not really...? M-most things have a scientific explanation...”

“ _MOST_ THINGS?”

“I-I mean...”

She trailed off again. She was clearly scrambling for an answer – which meant that whatever answer she gave probably wouldn’t be the most helpful. She couldn’t help it – he knew that she struggled under pressure. Still, anything was worth a shot at this point.

“I-I guess echo flowers n-never really made much sense to me?”

... _almost_ anything.

“... COME AGAIN?”

“I-I mean... they just... store sounds. L-logically, even if they c-could do that, it s-seems strange that a n-new phrase completely overwrites the o-old one if you talk into an occupied flower, even if the newer phrase is shorter...”

“SO, TO BE CLEAR... YOU’RE SUGGESTING THAT I TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW ECHO FLOWERS WORK.”

“...I g-guess?”

He’d be going from interviewing a mouse to talking about flowers. Forget losing the show, he’d be a laughing stock!

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

“AND YOU’RE _SURE_ THAT AN EPISODE ON THE AMALGAMATES IS COMPLETELY OFF THE TABLE? I WOULDN’T EVEN NEED TO INTERVIEW YOU, PERHAPS JUST A LOOK AT THEIR FILES-”

“I-I said _no_!”

And once more, silence befell the room. There was no tension this time around, nor an urge to quickly change the subject; the atmosphere had become melancholic, with all the pleasantness of a deflated balloon.

“S-sorry... I-I just...”

“NO, IT’S QUITE ALRIGHT, ALPHYS. I NEVER DID KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE, EH?”

He was floundering. He knew that this situation was beyond salvaging, and he wasn’t sure why he was making any attempt to do so. In fact, he knew that any attempt that he could make would likely only make things worse.

“...MAYBE IT WOULD BE BEST IF I WERE TO TAKE MY LEAVE FOR NOW.”

“...Y-yeah, maybe. I’ll, uh... talk to you later?”

“ABSOLUTELY, DARLING. UNTIL THEN!”

He showed himself out, leaving Alphys by herself in the kitchen. He wanted to comfort her, or even just give some levity to the situation, but... well, the damage had been done. At this point, he’d be better off trying to make amends later.

A weight of disappointment was hanging over him – not only had things once again gone poorly with Alphys, but another pain-inducing reality struck him:

The next episode of _Underground Mysteries_ was going to be about _flowers_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another exposition heavy chapter - we're still in the starting phase. The main goal of the early chapters is all about getting things established - specifically, the main characters and the plot. We're still in early days with the plot, but we're making solid headway with the characters!
> 
> So, as you can probably tell, a major element of this story is Mettaton's development.  
> I feel like I'm being a little too hard on him, so I'll just establish a little more where I'm coming from.
> 
> We know that Mettaton isn't without positive traits. He has a deep love for his fans, and he does care about those close to him, even if he's not always the best at showing it. That being said, he IS extremely selfish - a trait which doesn't really leave him by the end of Undertale.  
> Even if you assume that he gets better and works on rebuilding his relationship with Napstablook and Alphys, that doesn't mean that he'll be able to maintain them. After all, if he doesn't change, the relationships are doomed to fail all over again - and that change is what I hope to look at.  
> It'll be a long road, and Mettaton will definitely be showing some less-than-ideal traits along the way - but hopefully you'll enjoy the ride!
> 
> I'd also like to discuss his inner monologue a little bit.  
> As I mentioned last chapter, Mettaton is a difficult character to write - it's very easy to slip into writing him as a caricature. With how much of a show he tends to put on, I feel like the best way to show the more emotional side of him is by showing what he's thinking. Hopefully his thoughts and reasonings are being communicated properly!
> 
> That'll do for now, hopefully everyone enjoys the chapter! As always, feedback and criticism are appreciated!


	3. What a Lovely Thing a Rose Is! Not That That Applies to Echo Flowers...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton and his crew, following Alphys' advice, go to investigate echo flowers.
> 
> He's just overwhelmed with joy. Truly, he can think of nothing that he would love more.

As Mettaton and his crew made their way through Waterfall, he could just _hear_ the requiem knells.

Before he had even begun to plan, he had decided on one thing – Muffet would be sitting this investigation out. He knew from its very inception that this idea was asinine, and he did _not_ need her reminding him of that.

She was never going to let him live it down anyway – the least he could do for himself was to spare his dignity during the research.

“LISTEN UP, TEAM! WE’LL BE DOING THIS IN AS FEW TAKES AS WE CAN, SO LET’S MAKE SURE WE GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AROUND. TO RECAP, WHAT ARE WE HERE TO DO?”

He didn't get an immediate response, so he figured that a sharp turn around to face his crew would do the trick.

As expected, the two were caught off-guard. Perhaps not the best idea in hindsight, given how much expensive equipment they were carrying; still, it prompted Napstablook to answer him, which was enough for him not to count it as a _bad_ idea.

“uh.. we’re here to study echo flowers, right? Figure out why they’re able to pinpoint what sounds to keep?”

“RIGHT YOU ARE, BLOOKY! SO... WHAT WOULD BE THE MOST EFFICIENT COURSE OF ACTION? LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.”

“c’mon Mettaton, don’t you even wanna have a little fun with it? I mean... I don’t wanna put pressure on you or anything, but... we could goof around a little, maybe see if music has any effect? it’s... it’s just an idea, though...”

It was rare that Napstablook was enthusiastic about something. It was _exceedingly_ rare for Napstablook to be enthusiastic enough about something to the point that they were encouraging Mettaton to try to enjoy it.

As such, even as he felt himself and his career sinking into a shallow grave, he did what he could to display some enthusiasm.

“IT’S NOT LIKE A LITTLE BIT OF FUN WOULD JEOPARDIZE THE EXPERIMENT... OKAY! WELL, WE’LL START WITH SOME OF THE MORE ‘OFFICIAL’ BUSINESS, AND IF THINGS TAKE A MORE COMICAL TURN, WE’LL ROLL WITH IT! SHYREN, DEAR; WHAT’S OUR GAME PLAN?”

“W-well... first, we’ll find a room with some blank echo flowers... once we have a suitable testing e-environment, we’ll test phrases of certain lengths and document the results... then, l-like Napstablook said, we’ll try some other sounds, like music...”

As Shyren continued down the list, Mettaton felt what little enthusiasm he had managed to muster rapidly fizzling out.

 _How_ do you make that interesting? If he had to lose everything over a lousy episode, couldn’t it at least be one that people could laugh at? The only people that would be getting any joy out of this were the ones with sleeping difficulties!

“...Mettaton? Is that alright with you...?”

He focused back in on what Shyren was saying. He hadn’t intended to drift away, but... he was _Mettaton_. He had better things to do than talk to flowers! He could hardly be blamed if his focus was a little spotty today.

“Y-YES, OF COURSE, DARLING. YOU TWO GO AHEAD WITHOUT ME FOR A MOMENT, JUST EXPERIENCING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES!”

Without waiting for an answer, he wheeled himself a few rooms away to gather his thoughts.

This wasn’t working. No matter how great of an actor he was, he just _did not care_ about the subject material. So if he wanted this show to be even vaguely entertaining, he’d either have to _make_ himself care, or find some way to spruce it up.

He teetered back and forth for a moment, contemplating the latter option. Sadly, it became clear to him that most of his usual attempts to spruce things up wouldn’t be viable here – any unwarranted noise or activity in the vicinity of the echo flowers could draw the validity of the experiment into question.

Try as he might, he couldn’t think of any way he could entertain the audience without disrupting the echo flowers. Now, as tempting as it was to do so anyway - seeing as it would probably be a lot more entertaining than the actual end result of the experiment - he simply couldn't. He couldn't claim to have any artistic integrity if he was going to sabotage a documentary because it was boring. He had a question to answer, and he was going to hold true to that vision - his fans were counting on him to deliver a documentary, and he wasn't going to let them down!

As such, his only option was to try to actually be enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. Failing that... he’d just have to hope it ended quickly.

He began to make his way back to his crew, only to realize that he didn’t know where they were. Still, being lost was a better alternative to admitting that he hadn't been paying his full attention. Besides, he'd get to sit some of the experiment out while he searched for them, which was a win in his book.

Unfortunately for Mettaton, though, he found them rather quickly. He heard noises coming from a nearby room, and wheeled himself over to regroup with Napstablook and Shyren. When he actually reached the room, however, he was caught off-guard by an unexpected sound: barely-contained laughter.

His curiosity piqued, Mettaton inched toward the room, doing his best not to be seen in the process.

“o-okay... heh... g-go!”

“...Betty Botter bought some butter but she said the bat...b-butter’s better... no, bitter! If I put it in my b-batter, it will make the batter butter...”

That was about as far as Shyren managed to get. Both she and Napstablook lost whatever composure they had, erupting into a fit of giggles that quickly turned into full-blown laughter.

The two of them were having... quite a lot of fun, it seemed.

All they were doing was speaking nonsense phrases into a bunch of flowers... and yet, there they were, having the time of their lives. He just couldn’t wrap his head around it.

Even so, there was no harm in it. There wasn’t much fun to be had in the actual experiments, so why not let them muck about for a while? Any delay to the episode itself was, as far as he was concerned, entirely welcome.

He must have made some sort of noise in his absent-minded state, because Shyren whipped around to face him.

“M-Mettaton! W-We were just, um... prepping the flowers...?”

“SHYREN, DEAR, THERE’S NO NEED FOR ALARM! A LITTLE BIT OF FUN HERE AND THERE NEVER WENT AMISS, EH?”

She visibly relaxed, which he was happy to see; she was always so tense, especially when work was involved. She and Napstablook were still giggling away, which prompted Mettaton to have a peek at some of the flowers that they had tampered with.

He gave one of them a poke, and was met with a high-pitched warbling sound. That must have come from Shyren, who covered her face with her hair as soon as she heard the sound coming back out.

The next one he tapped greeted him with a phrase: “uh... salutations, beauties and, um, gentlebooties! W-wait...” which was followed by a fit of laughter.

Despite the butchering of one of his catchphrases, Mettaton couldn’t help but chuckle. That was encouragement enough for Napstablook to nudge him towards one of the flowers.

“come on, Mettaton! Give it a shot!”

Well, Mettaton was never one to back down from a challenge. He placed himself in front of one of the flowers.

“WELCOME, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES, TO A FIELD OF FASCINATION IN TONIGHT’S EPISODE OF _UNDERGROUND MYSTERIES_!”

He paused for a moment before tapping the flower. He was met with nothing but white noise.

“huh? That’s weird... not like the volume was an issue...”

“PERHAPS I WAS JUST TOO FAR FROM THE FLOWER TO BE PICKED UP PROPERLY!”

Mettaton rolled as close as he could to the flower without trampling it. Despite Napstablook’s comment, he decided that increasing the volume a little couldn’t hurt either.

“I HOPE YOUR LIFE AFTER MEETING ME... HAS BEEN WORTH LIVING.”

Mettaton paused once more, before tapping the flower again. It responded once more with white noise.

“...guess it doesn’t take too kindly to machines?”

Though they had only intended it as a simple observation, it certainly struck a chord with Mettaton. Of course, Napstablook was a perceptive soul; they cottoned on quite quickly to Mettaton’s feelings.

“I mean... m-maybe it’s just something to do with the way you output sound? The flower might not be able to pick it up? You already know that, I guess... sorry.”

Mettaton, ever the crowd-pleaser, decided not to linger on the feeling.

“NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE, BLOOKY! THIS JUST MEANS THAT I CAN LEAVE THE REST OF THE EXPERIMENT TO THE TWO OF YOU – WE CAN WRAP THINGS UP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND GET OUT OF THIS DREARY DEN OF DRUDGERY, BACK TO LIFE ON THE SURFACE.”

The edge in his voice was not missed by Napstablook or Shyren. Both shared a glance, wondering whether the issue was worth pursuing. Shyren was quick to avert her gaze and get back to work, leaving Napstablook to their own devices.

Mettaton had had quite enough of the place by this point – on top of his time being wasted, the flowers had the gall to ignore him! This kind of nonsense was exactly what he hated about life in the Underground – a star like him needed _stimulation_.

You couldn’t get that from a basket of snails, nor a dilapidated little shack. And you _certainly_ couldn’t get it from an echo flower.

“...c’mon, Mettaton. you’ve got some good memories here, right?”

Once again, he found himself being pulled from his thoughts – as he returned to reality, he realized that Napstablook was looking at him quite intently. It wasn’t exactly piercing, but it was more than he was used to from his cousin.

“WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN, BLOOKY?”

They paused before saying anything else. A strange act; they usually only ever did that when they were trying to build up confidence.

“like... yeah, the echo flowers aren’t really your thing, but... don’t you have _some_ fondness for the Underground? you got your start here, after all, and it was your home for a long time...”

“I’M BETTER THAN MY ROOTS, BLOOKY! THIS PLACE IS NOTHING – LIKE I SAID, IT’S DRAB, IT LACKS STYLE – IT’S SIMPLY NOT FIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME!”

The mirth was completely gone from Napstablook’s voice, but that didn’t stop them from throwing one last feeler out to their cousin. He didn’t quite understand why they were so insistent.

“so there’s really nothing here that appeals to you? you never think about, y’know... any of the simpler parts of life down here? even you must want some quiet time, right?”

“SIMPLE? QUIET? NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST!”

Mettaton failed to notice Napstablook’s crestfallen expression.

“I LIVE FOR THE SPOTLIGHT! I’M FUELLED BY THE WHIZZING OF DIFFERENT SOUNDS AROUND ME – FROM CHEERING FANS TO STATE-OF-THE-ART EQUIPMENT, THE MORE NOISE I’M HEARING, THE BETTER!”

Mettaton failed to notice the tears brimming at Napstablook’s eyes.

“AND AS FOR SIMPLE – IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT TECHNOLOGY, BLOOKY! THAT WOULD BE A WORLD WITHOUT CELL PHONES, A WORLD WITHOUT TELEVISION – A WORLD WITHOUT _METTATON_!”

Mettaton failed to notice that Napstablook was at their recording system, having retreated from the one-sided conversation to get the project finished.

“WHAT A HORRIBLE THOUGHT – THANKFULLY, WE HAD MINDS LIKE MINE AND ALPHYS’ TO KEEP THE UNDERGROUND IN CHECK. IMAGINE – WITHOUT OUR INTERVENTION, I’D STILL BE FARMING SNAILS FOR A LIVING!”

As he continued, he could feel droplets pelting him; probably calcite dripping from the ceiling, another less than pleasant aspect of living in a cave. Still, despite the fact that they were bizarrely frequent and consistent, they suited his monologue - so he couldn't complain too much.

“WE CAN’T FORGET ASGORE, OF COURSE – WITHOUT THE BLESSING OF OUR MAGNANIMOUS MONARCH, THE NETWORK WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO TRULY SPREAD ITS WINGS! NOT TO MENTION HIM GRACIOUSLY ALLOWING US TO DRAW AS MUCH POWER AS WE DID FROM THE CORE!”

It dawned on him that, given his sincerity, this would have made for some great footage. It was a shame that he hadn’t gotten Shyren to record any of it – that being said, though, there was nothing preventing a second take when he was finished. He couldn’t simply stop when he was operating at full-steam, of course.

“ACTUALLY, ON THAT NOTE, THE CORE ITSELF WAS INTEGRAL TO OUR SUCCESS! SO ANOTHER SHOUT-OUT TO ITS INVENTOR... THE GENIUS KNOWN AS...”

It wasn’t often that one would find Mettaton at a loss for words. Yet there he was – pulling for a piece of information that he, surprisingly, did not have.

“...POP QUIZ! WHO WAS IT THAT INVENTED THE CORE?”

He turned to his crew. Napstablook had their headphones in, seemingly too focused on their work to have heard him. Shyren shrank back, but noticed quite quickly that she was the only one that was available to answer him.

“Umm... I-I don’t know... I’m sorry...”

“QUITE ALRIGHT, SHYREN! IT SIMPLY OCCURRED TO ME THAT I DIDN’T KNOW OFF-HAND, EITHER. YOU’D THINK WE’D KNOW, GIVEN HOW INTEGRAL IT WAS TO OUR LIVES, EH? DO YOU THINK BLOOKY KNOWS?”

“U-umm...”

She sidled towards Napstablook, trying to get their attention. It wasn’t long before they turned to face her, an apologetic expression on their face.

“ah, s-sorry. got pretty focused there... not that anyone asked.... sorry.”

“It’s okay! W-we were just wondering, uh... do you know who built the CORE?”

They looked up in thought. When an answer failed to come to them, they closed their eyes in concentration. After a brief moment, they shook their head.

“sorry... I never really bothered to look into history much. Or at all, really. Sorry.”

Well, _that_ was a conundrum. How was it that _none_ of them knew who created the CORE? Given how important it had been to everyone in the Underground for most of their lives, surely that information should have been common knowledge?

Still, Mettaton was not the kind of person to simply accept that he didn’t have something – be it a gigantic golden statue or an answer to a question, Mettaton would get something if he wanted it.

And he wanted answers.

He’d just have to make a quick call. As he waited through each ring, he grew more tense – she never was one to answer her phone promptly.

“H-hello?”

“ALPHYS, DARLING! HOW ARE YOU?”

“Uhh... g-good? How’s the, um, echo flower research going...?”

He paused for a second. With any luck, the echo flower research would soon be a distant memory - if his hunch was correct.

“SPLENDID, DARLING. ANYHOW, GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS – SURELY A SCIENTIST LIKE YOURSELF WOULD BE ABLE TO ANSWER THIS TEENSY QUESTION THAT NONE OF US CAN FIGURE OUT!”

“I-I mean... I can try, at least...?”

“ATTA GIRL, ALPHYS! SO, TO THE POINT: WHO WAS IT THAT INVENTED THE CORE?”

He waited patiently, assuming that she was either trying to remember or rifling through her files to confirm whatever was in her head.

“I... I...”

He could feel her frustration and confusion; he knew her well enough at this point to know that she didn’t have an answer for him.

“I don’t know. I-I should have some details on it... s-somewhere...”

“WONDERFUL! PERHAPS YOU COULD ROOT THEM OUT FOT ME AND WE COULD DISCUSS IT OVER LUNCH TOMORROW? MY TREAT?”

“W-well... I-I mean...”

Ah. She was still angry about the other day. He had hoped that time could have sorted that one, if not his offer to pay for lunch. Wishful thinking, he supposed.

If he wanted to win her over, he'd have to break out the big guns.

“PERHAPS WE COULD ALSO WATCH SOMETHING TOGETHER...?”

“A-are you suggesting...?”

“INDEED I AM, DARLING! JUST LIKE OLD TIMES! WHAT DO YOU SAY?”

Once again, she was slow to respond. He could feel his anticipation building, and not in the way that he liked.

“...A-alright.”

“EXCELLENT, DARLING! TALK TO YOU THEN!”

“S-see y-”

He hung up the phone, glad to have that conversation out of the way. It dawned on him that they hadn’t settled on a time, but she’d probably text him on the details. That was how it usually went, anyway.

With his conversation finished, he turned back to his crew. He could tell that morale wasn’t as high as it has been when they first arrived. Evidently, they were also frustrated by the lack of progress.

“I THINK WE’LL PACK IT IN FOR TODAY, TEAM. DOES THAT SUIT EVERYONE?”

He received wordless nods in response. For some reason, it felt as though something was off – perhaps they were even more bothered than he was by the whole situation? Or perhaps they believed that they had failed to meet expectations?

“YOU’VE BOTH DONE EXCELLENTLY TODAY – AND DON’T WORRY, I HAVE THE FEELING THAT WE’LL MAKE A SOLID BREAKTHROUGH SOON! WITH A CREW LIKE YOU, WE’LL MAKE PROGRESS IN NO TIME!”

Napstablook gave an unenthusiastic “yeah...” and Shyren gave a nervous smile. It wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for, but he wasn’t going to press the issue.

Besides, when they saw that he had found a lead that was actually _exciting_ , he was sure that they'd perk back up in no time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Mettaton proves to be much more difficult to write than I had anticipated.
> 
> I don't intend to simply portray him as some kind of egomaniacal jerk - as self-obsessed as he is, he does care about others.  
> The issue is that he gets so lost in himself that he forgets how others might feel. It's not a conscious decision to be nasty to others, nor is it the case that he lacks the capacity to feel empathy. He's just so used to being selfish that being better is an uphill climb.  
> Then there's the question of how much he changed after becoming a star - I'll be touching on it more later, but I do think that there are two sides to the whole situation.  
> All that being said - he's still got plenty of issues. Issues that hurt people that he loves, even if he doesn't intend to.
> 
> All in all, I'm mainly hoping that Mettaton is coming across as an actual character - not as simply the showman that he acts as, nor a caricature that trims down the more real, personal traits of his character.  
> Of course, at this point, the opportunity isn't quite there yet for him to really show off the best and worst of himself, but we'll get there!
> 
> Also... writing Napstablook is hard. Not necessarily in the sense of their character or personality, but rather their literal dialogue.  
> Hopefully I've gotten it decently faithful to the game, but... I was surprised by how often I found myself saying "Wait, does that look right...?"
> 
> Of course, I'm aware that outside of Mettaton and maybe Alphys, none of our major characters so far have really gotten a chance to be much more than weak copies of what they are in-game. Over time, they'll be getting more exposure and, hopefully, that will flesh them out a bit.
> 
> Still, I hope everyone is enjoying so far!  
> The plot is finally getting moving, and I'd imagine most of you can guess what mystery the crew will be trying to solve at this point!
> 
> Thanks for reading, criticism and comments are appreciated as always!  
> See y'all next time!


	4. It Came From the Back of the Diner!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton and Alphys meet up to dicuss the CORE.
> 
> Things end up being murky for Mettaton in more ways than one.

Mettaton was the kind of person who could compromise – that was how showbusiness worked. Sometimes, if you _really_ wanted something, you had to do things that you didn’t want to do to get them.

Even at that, though... the very notion of Mettaton sitting in some grubby little diner was an affront to his star status!

Yet there he was. Sitting in the booth with the smallest number of grease stains, waiting for Alphys, who was now running twelve minutes late. Despite the fact that she was the one who had picked the time and place. The time being inopportune for an uninterrupted lunch and the place being... well, ‘grimy’ felt too generous.

Normally, he’d be fairly forgiving when Alphys was running late. However, the circumstances allowed for some impatience on his part; the whole point of going to a restaurant – or what the average person allowed to carry the label of ‘restaurant’, at least – was to eat. 

In order to be able to do that, he’d had to switch to his EX form. Not that he’d ever have an issue with showing off his fabulous humanoid form, but it did put something of a time limit on their little outing. His battery power wasn’t going to last forever; he’d last a while longer, but he’d have to skip lunch if there was much more of a delay.

Well, if there was any benefit to her being late, it gave him more time to look over the menu. Figuring out which item was the least repulsive was no easy task. So much of it was pure slop – the thought of any of it touching _any_ of his internal mechanisms was unpleasant, to say the _very_ least. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a tragic turn of events if Alphys ran a little late...

Alas, it was at that moment that he noticed her looking around the restaurant aimlessly.

After a moment of waiting to see if she’d find him, he waved to her. Once he’d caught her attention, she quickly made her way over to sit across from him.

“I, uh... I’m glad you managed to get a b-booth. It’s so awkward when you’re s-sitting at centre tables... p-people rushing by and, y’know, bumping into you...”

Of course he got a booth - as if _Mettaton_ was going to be caught dead sitting at a rickety table in a sleazy diner. Still, Mettaton was happy to welcome any praise directed at him.

“It was nothing, darling! So, what will you be having? It all looks so... edible.”

“I, uh, really like the pizzas here? I-I was thinking we could sh-share one? If that’s good with you?”

Oh dear. At the best of times, Mettaton barely tolerated pizza. Given his doubts that this place had a passing sanitation grade, he didn’t hold out much hope for whatever glop could show up on his plate if they ordered it here.

Still, he was on a mission. He knew that he had gotten onto Alphys’ bad side, and wanted to make things up with her. Not to mention, he needed details on the CORE.

It wasn’t as though he had much choice in the matter – just grin and bear it.

“Of course, darling.”

When the waiter ( _finally_ ) showed up and took their orders, he seemed to know which toppings they’d be getting already. It seemed that Alphys really _was_ a regular here.

Other than vetoing sausage (He was already making _plenty_ of sacrifices, but he still had some hard limits), Mettaton was willing to accept the sordid variety of toppings that the waiter read out (He’d just have to hope that there was a mistake, or that the olives and pineapples would be on separate sides of the pizza).

Once the grim details had been confirmed, the waiter took his leave. It then dawned on Mettaton that he hadn’t put as much thought as he should have into how to start the conversation.

Would it be best to open with an apology for the other day? Or would the apology look insincere if it was followed up with his work-related questions? Of course, if he _didn’t_ start with the apology, would that make it look like an afterthought if it came later?

Alphys wasn’t usually one to start the conversation, so he’d just have to wing it and hope for the best.

“So... this is a usual haunt for you?”

“Y-yeah... I had a few, um, friends recommend it... e-eventually I started coming here by myself, too.”

People were _recommending_ the place? The only recommendation he had in mind was to bring your own cutlery. And plates. And food.

“S-so, uh... did you go with the echo flower idea for your show in the end?”

“I did, darling! Unfortunately, they didn’t quite take to me as well as my fans do.”

“H-huh?”

So, Alphys wasn’t aware that he couldn’t trigger a reaction in echo flowers? Well, he couldn’t blame her. It truly was scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas, and he doubted that anyone would have echo flowers in mind when designing a speaker system.

“When I spoke into the flower, it had no reaction. Blooky had some theory about sound outputs and whatnot...”

“Huh... that’s actually k-kind of interesting...”

Of all things, _that_ caught her interest. For the briefest of moments, he almost wondered if he was out of touch with what people might want.

“Not that it will matter, if my _new_ plan is successful!”

“N-new plan?”

Before Mettaton could explain his outline for a significantly more interesting episode, the waiter returned, carrying with him a large plate.

What lay on that plate was enough to shock any thoughts of television from his mind – outside of the headlines if _any_ Health and Safety authorities got a look at what lay in front of him.

It was revolting; the crust was white, cracked and far stiffer than a pizza crust had any right to be. He could see the viscous sauce oozing out between the slices (Which was the only indicator that the pizza _had_ been sliced), and the colour was closer to brown than red – he just hoped that Alphys had ordered a barbeque base unbeknownst to him.

Then there was the cheese – the mere sight was enough to gag. It was _pulsating_. He could easily have believed that it was radioactive waste that had gained a yellow tint. The toppings were laying on its surface, slowly sinking into their slimy graves. And, to his dismay, the olives and pineapples were not on separate sides of the pizza.

And, to cap off this culinary catastrophe was a layer of oil; everything on the pizza as smothered in oil, some of which was dripping – no, _cascading_ – onto the plate.

Alphys was quite enthusiastic as she grabbed a slice and happily munched away at it.

“Aren’t you gonna have some?”

He flashed her a nervous smile. He tentatively reached up, trying to touch as little of the pizza as possible. The fact that no napkins had been provided may explain all of the nearby stains.

He took a small bite from the pizza.

As soon as it touched his tongue, he was searching every manual and note inside of him, begging for any possible method of turning off his ability to taste – or deleting it entirely, if necessary.

Sadly, no such option presented itself to him. He had no choice but to force the rancid mess down his throat, trying (and failing) to keep it from splashing onto the sleek, shiny material of his face and hands.

After a few agonizing minutes, he had finished a slice (Not touching the crust – he knew he could get away with that, at least) and decided that to resume conversation.

“So... you said you had some details on the CORE available to you?”

If nothing else, the discussion might distract her from the fact that he was about ready to fire someone – he wasn’t in any way affiliated with the establishment, but he was sure he could get away with it if he presented that pizza to a judge.

“O-oh! I don’t have them with me, but, uh... we can take a b-better look at home?”

“Splendid, darling! Do we have any more ideas on who built it?”

“N-no... I still haven’t looked too th-thoroughly at the files... but, y’know, it’s gotta be in there somewhere!”

Admittedly, he’d vastly prefer actual answers over blind enthusiasm. Still, he’d take what he could get at this point.

“Exactly! So, what say we get cracking? We can finish up here, get a little work done and top it off with some animé. How about it?”

“U-um... don’t you want to f-finish the pizza first?”

It seemed that he wasn’t going to get away as easily as he’d hoped.

“Of course, darling – I guess I’m just getting a little sidetracked...”

* * *

After a gruelling trial of forcing another slice down his throat, they were able to leave. As promised, Mettaton paid for the meal – or rather, he gave Alphys the money to pay for it. He doubted that he could keep it together in front of the purveyor of the putrid pizza, and he certainly couldn’t bear the thought of giving someone _money_ for it.

As much as Mettaton wanted to leave to have his insides thoroughly cleaned, he knew that the day wasn’t over. He still had information to get, and bonds to re-forge.

“So... did you have anything in particular that you wanted to watch?”

“W-well... the selection is, um, a lot bigger up here. Obviously, heh heh... d-did you know that there was a reboot of _Mew Mew: Kissy Cutie_? We could watch that...?”

Of course. It _had_ to be Mew Mew, didn’t it?

After a _certain cousin of his_ had wormed their way into a life-sized Mew Mew doll, they had become an extreme nuisance. Between branding herself as his ‘rival’ and demanding frequent ‘cross-promotion’, she was _extremely_ difficult to be around. 

Of course, she was family – that meant that Napstablook was determined to keep her around. He could, with absolutely no difficulty whatsoever, say no to her – but he couldn’t say no to Napstablook.

As such, the mere _sight_ of Mew Mew was enough to put him in a foul mood these days. As _Mew Mew: Kissy Cutie_ was an obscure animé, that was something that he didn’t have to deal with very often.

Of course, it just couldn’t be that easy, could it?

“Tell you what, darling – why don’t we take a quick peek at those CORE documents. All I need is a name, and then we can watch as much animé as we want. Sound fair?”

“Y-yeah... right. So, uh... why the fixation on this, of all things...?”

At the very least, one thing had gone in his favour tonight – she had the documents prepared and laid out on the table.

As the two began to look through them, Mettaton supposed that there was no harm in some idle banter.

“Well, darling, the show is about questions that people want answered – this one just so happens to be a question that _I_ want answered. And, let’s be real – if I want it, the people want it!”

“R-right...”

Their search continued, to no avail. Despite the fact that there were several stacks of paper, it seemed that not a single one held any information on the CORE’s creator.

“So, uh... g-guess the echo flower thing was a bust, huh?”

“I’m afraid so... all we managed to find out was that they’re rude, and don’t want to repeat anything of substance.”

The look on her face told him that she was making the wise decision of not pressing any further.

They continued to work in silence, slowly sorting through each of the manuals, sheets and records before them. Eventually, Alphys broke the silence:

“S-so... I’ve, um... I’ve been thinking.”

“Go on?”

She stopped her searching, and prompted him to do the same. He hoped that whatever she had to say was important.

“I... I’m reconsidering the whole... ‘A-Amalgamates’ thing.”

He was stunned. Was she really...?

“D-don’t get too f-far ahead of yourself! I... I have a lot of g-ground rules, here.”

“Name it and it’s done!”

She seemed a touch put off by his enthusiasm, but he couldn’t help it – finally, something he could work with!

“So, f-first off... i-it’s only a last resort. S-something to fall back on if you can’t make your d-deadline with this CORE episode.”

That was reasonable, he supposed.

“Second... I-I’m not doing an interview.”

Fair enough – though it was disappointing to hear, he couldn’t say that he wasn’t expecting that.

“L-lastly... you c-can’t interview the Amalgamates, either.”

“What?! Why not?”

“That would be exploitative! The episode should be... y’know, based on science, and all about making people aware of their... c-condition! I d-don’t want it to just be a... s-some way to p-parade them about like f-freaks.”

As much as he wanted to call her out on implying that he’d do that, especially when he knew some of the Amalgamates personally, he decided to hold himself back. If things went bust with the CORE, he’d need something solid to fall back on.

“Alright, Alphys. I agree to those terms.”

“R-remember, it’s only if this stuff with the CORE doesn’t work out!”

“Right, of course. So, let’s get back to it!”

With that, they continued to pore over the documents. Yet, in the end, not a single one held the information they sought. Not even the slightest of indicators as to who actually built the thing.

“Th-that’s... how is that even possible?!”

Alphys seemed positively distraught.

“All that and... and not a single thing? This... it just doesn’t make any _sense_! A-and how has it not even come up until now?!”

As good as it was to see her getting fired up, Mettaton didn’t see it going anywhere productive.

“Well, Alphys, it looks like we have a bona fide mystery on our hands! I have a feeling that this one will be a hit!”

“Y-yeah... I mean, I know _I_ wanna know...”

“That’s the spirit! Still, I think we’ve done enough work for today. We don’t want to be overworked, after all!”

She didn’t seem quite content with stopping there, but she seemed to accept that there wasn’t much more to be done. She slumped down onto the couch, defeated.

Mettaton made his way over, sitting beside her.

“Look, there’s nary a mystery that the Mystery-Solving Machine himself can’t unravel! We’ll get to the bottom of this, Alphys. We just need a game plan, and there’s no use trying to come up with one of those when we’re tired, right?”

“Right... I guess now’s as good a time as any to watch Mew Mew, huh?”

Hmm. He’d had a feeling that things were starting to go a little too well. Still, if this was the price that he’d have to pay for tonight’s progress...

“Absolutely, darling.”

He couldn’t fault her for her enthusiasm – for the entirety of the time she spent setting the show up, finding the DVDs and preparing snacks, she didn’t stop gushing about it once.

As much as he dreaded what was to come, he couldn’t deny that there was a sense of nostalgia to the whole affair.

He was reminded of a different time; one in which a ghost with great aspirations sat in his place. A ghost that would ramble to anyone who would listen about how fascinating human culture was, often being met with confusion, if not outright disdain.

As soon as Alphys had built his body, he knew that he had been destined for something greater. Even if there _were_ a few good things about living in the Underground, it was nothing that he couldn’t have on the surface – as a matter of fact, he could not only have everything that he had in the Underground, but it was so much _better_ on the surface!

He didn’t need his past – all he needed was his amazing present and his bright future.

As Alphys continued to chatter away, he picked up scattered bits of information; the reboot had removed a core character, there were empty references to the original... despite her fervour, it was hard to gauge whether or not Alphys actually _liked_ this reboot.

Still, he’d grin and bear it. He _did_ care about her, and he couldn’t fault her for seizing the new opportunities that were presenting themselves to her on the surface... even if those opportunities mostly seemed to relate to animé.

The evening went on, and they made their way through several episodes. They decided to call it a night after finishing season one. Or the first half of season one – he hadn’t been paying too much attention. Between thinking about how he was going to handle the mystery of the CORE and trying _not_ to think of how his life used to be, he didn’t have much space left in his mind for the show.

He had expected that, once he had left, he’d be able to focus entirely on the CORE. And yet, a small part of him kept drifting back to the past – to farming snails, forming a Human Fanclub, dealing with the hopeless sensation of being trapped...

He hated the Underground. It stifled him and caused a great deal of pain to many others. Sure, he didn’t hate _everything_ about it, but he’d certainly never miss the place. As he had proven tonight, anything that was decent about the place could be replicated and improved on the surface.

So why was he feeling _guilty_ about his feelings? It made no sense to be on the defensive when he was objectively right!

Yet, for all of his internal justifications, he couldn’t let the thoughts go. Every negative thought he had about the Underground and his past was swimming around the forefront of his mind. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t push the increasingly aggressive thoughts away.

Failing to clear his head, Mettaton decided to rest up for the night – he could do some more investigating tomorrow.

Hopefully, by then, he’d be able to get over this absurd fixation on a time that he’d _really_ prefer to stop thinking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton Suffering: The Chapter  
> We see a pattern at this point of him legitimately not having ill intent, but he has difficulty in focusing too much on others. He doesn't mean to, really.
> 
> His past rears its head once more - I like to think that his feelings, while realized, are much more nuanced than people tend to think. Given it's going to be relevant later, I'll leave it there for now.
> 
> Also, you may notice that, despite Mettaton's fretting about how he should apologize to Alphys, he never actually does it. Whether or not he apologized in the end is up to your interpretation... though you can probably guess what I'm thinking.
> 
> You could probably guess that I was having a lot of fun with that pizza description - I was thinking back on a particularly nasty experience I had with a pizza once, though the toppings were just added for this story.
> 
> See you next time! As always, comments and criticism are appreciated!


	5. The Web is the Best Place for Answers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his frustrations building, Mettaton needs someone he can rely on for some answers.
> 
> Naturally, he goes to the one person who he deems capable of giving him a helping hand... or six.

Waking up early was never an issue for Mettaton; while most of the people close to him were a little more sluggish in that department, there was one person he could count on to be awake at 7:00 AM.

And so, he found himself waiting outside of a small bakery, growing slightly agitated as he waited for the owner to open the door.

Between his nagging feelings from the previous night and his difficulties with the show, his patience was starting to wear thin. He needed results, and he knew that he could count on Muffet to get them.

He wasn’t left waiting for too long; he heard the muffled clacking of heels, followed by the door opening and the accompanying jingling of a bell.

“Well, it isn’t my favourite benefactor! You must be _dying_ for something sweet if you’re here this early!~”

“YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL, DARLING!” 

Pragmatic as always, Muffet wasted no time in leading him behind the counter and through to her office. It was refreshing to be able to just get to business; Muffet was never one to mince words or offer unnecessary small talk, a trait which he greatly appreciated.

“So, what can I do for you today, dearie?”

“WELL, THIS MAY BE SOMETHING OF AN... ODD REQUEST.”

“ _Trust_ me, I’m no stranger to those. Given our _history_ , I doubt it will be anything I can’t handle!~”

He couldn’t help but laugh, and she quickly followed suit. He supposed that, yes, considering the fact that he had hired her to kill a child, asking her to do a little sleuthing wouldn’t really be that outrageous of a task.

“Though... I will say that there are certain requests that I’m not taking these days. I’m sure you understand.”

“OF COURSE, DARLING, OF COURSE! I SWEAR, ONE WRONG MOVE AND THE HUMANS ARE ALL OVER YOU!”

“I love life on the surface – it’s everything that I could have asked for and more! But... sometimes I do miss the easier days. Every day there’s some problem with finances or bad press... sometimes I wonder if I had more freedom in the Underground!”

As frustrating as it was to hear the Underground being brought up _again_ , he had to admit that he understood where she was coming from.

“I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY, DARLING. HUMANS ARE SO PICKY ABOUT WHAT CONTENT IS ALLOWED! ‘THAT WON’T GO DOWN WELL WITH THIS DEMOGRAPHIC’, ‘WE DON’T HAVE THE BUDGET OR PERMISSION FOR SO MANY EXPLOSIVES’, ‘YOU CAN'T DO THAT STUNT, SOMEONE MIGHT LOSE A HAND’... THEY’RE SO UPTIGHT ABOUT _EVERYTHING_!”

“Even so... there’s nowhere we’d rather be, right?”

“RIGHT. AT LEAST _SOMEONE_ UNDERSTANDS THAT!”

Muffet quirked an eyebrow. It was then that Mettaton realized what he had just walked himself into. Knowing her, it would be much more difficult to walk himself out of it.

As if to confirm his suspicions, she leaned forward on her desk, resting her head on two of her hands. She said nothing, and simply waited for him to continue.

“IT’S JUST THAT... PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE THIS BIZARRE ADORATION FOR THE UNDERGROUND. THEY LOOK BACK ON IT SO FONDLY, AS IF IT WASN’T A PRISON! BUT WHENEVER I POINT THAT OUT, PEOPLE HAVE TO REMIND ME ABOUT THE ‘GOOD THINGS’ ABOUT IT!”

By this point, he would have expected Muffet to ask who the people in question were. The fact that she didn’t signalled that either she was more interested in seeing how things played out, or she was being kind and trying not to press his buttons.

Assuming the former to be the case, he pressed on.

“HAS IT JUST... SLIPPED EVERYONE’S MINDS THAT THERE WERE JUST AS MANY BAD THINGS ABOUT THE UNDERGROUND? HOW MANY MONSTERS LOST THE WILL TO GO ON AND ENDED UP FALLING DOWN? HOW MANY OPPORTUNITIES WERE MISSED BECAUSE OF HOW LIMITED RESOURCES WERE IN THE UNDERGROUND? FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE, WE COULDN’T EVEN SEE THE STARS!”

After a moment of silence, he realized that this issue had gotten to him more than he had realized. He took some time to collect himself before continuing.

“EVEN IF IT HAD ITS POSITIVE ELEMENTS... IT WASN’T A GOOD PLACE. ANYTHING THAT WAS GOOD ABOUT IT HAPPENED BECAUSE _WE_ MADE IT THAT WAY, AND WE CAN DO THE EXACT SAME UP HERE. I DON’T SEE WHY EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE THIS... _NOSTALGIA_ FOR A GLORIFIED JAIL CELL.”

“Hmm... you see the Underground as a prison. So... does that mean that you were okay with keeping the rest of us imprisoned to reach your own dreams?”

“I... WHAT?”

For such a scathing statement, he couldn’t pick up any resentment from her. Nor did her smile drop as she continued.

“That was the plan, wasn’t it? I, or one of the many other ‘special employees’, would have taken Frisk’s soul and given it to you so that you could cross the barrier. So everyone else would have had to wait for another human to come along before freedom was an option... right?”

“YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I WAS ONLY IN THIS FOR MYSELF!”

She didn’t react to his statement. He should have known better, but he felt a burning need to defend himself.

“I WAS GOING TO SOFTEN THE HUMANS UP! I’D ESTABLISH MYSELF AS A STAR, SO THAT WHEN THE TIME _DID_ COME FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO LEAVE THE UNDERGROUND, HUMANITY WOULD BE MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MONSTERKIND AFTER SEEING THE BEST IT HAD TO OFFER!”

“So, your plan was to prevent another war?”

“YES!”

“So, just to be sure... how exactly would killing a human on live television accomplish that?”

Once again, her tone did not betray any malice behind her words. He could never tell where she was taking these conversations, but he knew that she had _something_ in mind; Muffet wasn't one to ask questions if they didn't have a purpose.

“I... HADN’T QUITE THOUGHT THAT PART THROUGH. THERE WERE SOME TROUBLES IN PRODUCTION, SO I HAD TO IMPROVISE!”

“Hmm... Still, that could have been quite the hindrance to human-monster relations, couldn’t it?”

“BUT IT _WASN’T_! I’D WAGER THAT MY PERFORMANCE DID MORE TO ENDEAR THE MONSTERS TO FRISK – AND HUMANITY IN GENERAL – THAN PRETTY MUCH ANYONE ELSE IN THE UNDERGROUND. IT WAS A NET POSITIVE!”

“I see... So, what you’re saying is that what we’ve done wrong in the past is justified because things turned out well in the end?”

“DON’T GO ASCRIBING THINGS TO ME THAT I HAVEN’T SAID! ALL I’M SAYING IS THAT THE PAST IS IN THE PAST, AND THAT’S WHERE IT SHOULD STAY!”

That got a smirk out of her – whether it was because she felt that she had bested him or because he had successfully dodged a trap that he would normally have fallen for, he couldn’t tell.

Regardless, she leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other. Evidently, she had gotten what she wanted from the conversation, which meant that it was time to get back to business.

“I suppose that makes sense – it’s only natural for people like us to focus on the present.~”

“EXACTLY! SO, GOING BACK TO THAT REQUEST I HAD FOR YOU... MUFFET, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CORE?”

“The CORE? Hmm...”

She sat quietly for a moment, thinking about what he had asked. Either that or she already had an answer in mind, and was dragging things out to get on his nerves.

 _Eventually_ , she looked back at him.

“Next to nothing, dearie! Unless I got a special request, I tended not to stray too far from my web... it can be _very dangerous_ to go somewhere you’re unfamiliar with.~”

“NOTHING? NOTHING AT ALL?”

“The only thing I knew about it was to stay away from it. That adorable friend of yours was very worried for my safety, so it was only fair that I oblige her!”

Mettaton crossed his arms. He hadn’t expected Muffet to know much, but there was a small sliver of hope in him that had hoped she would have something to go on.

“SEE, MUFFET, HERE’S WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES. _NOBODY_ SEEMS TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT – EVEN ALPHYS BARELY HAS ANY IDEA!”

“What a pity... so, does this mean you’re giving up on the echo flowers?”

She followed up with a fit of giggles, which Mettaton did not appreciate.

“LEAVE THE COMEDY TO THE PROFESSIONALS, DARLING. I HAVE A MORE IMPORTANT JOB FOR YOU.”

“Oh?~”

“I NEED YOU TO FIND ME SOME INFO ON THE CORE. HOW IT WAS BUILT AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, _WHO_ BUILT IT.”

She crossed her arms and gave him an accusatory glance.

“What happened to leaving the past in the past?”

“I- THAT’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!”

She didn’t let up; she continued to wait for a more satisfactory answer.

Of course, that didn't mean she was going to get one. He was having difficulty formulating an argument in his favour, but he _knew_ that they weren't the same thing. He didn't have to prove it!

He decided against making the argument - they'd had enough philosophical discussions for one day. He had come here for answers, and there was no point in getting sidetracked.

“LOOK, YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON I CAN TRUST TO DO THIS JOB PROPERLY. SO, CAN YOU DO IT?”

“Well... you know that I _would_ , but... I just couldn’t. Some of my equipment was damaged lately, and I’d need to have it replaced before I could give you my full attention.”

She threw an arm up to her forehead in mock anguish. It was a shame that she was so committed to her bakery – he _loved_ seeing how hammy she could be when she wanted to.

Even if said hamminess was going to cost him an arm and a leg.

“Even if I _was_ to be paid in full, I just couldn’t perform to my gold standard... I’d be too worried about how things would be going here-”

“YES, YES, VERY GOOD, YOU’VE EARNED MY SYMPATHY AND SO ON. SEND ME AN INVOICE AND I’LL GET IT SORTED. CAN I TRUST THAT YOU’LL BE GETTING TO WORK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE?”

She leapt excitedly from her chair, an unusual action for her – either she hadn’t expected to win him over so quickly, or he had just made a commitment that he was going to regret.

“Thank you _very_ much, Mett! Leave it with me; if there are answers to be found, I’ll get them to you!”

“WONDERFUL, DARLING. I LEAVE THE REST IN YOUR MANY CAPABLE HANDS!”

He turned to leave, but just as he reached the door, Muffet called him back. He turned to face her, and was met by a _very_ smug grin.

“I’ll make sure to send you a _special_ batch of frosted treats that I’ve made with my _new_ equipment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, two friends bonding over that time they almost killed a child. What a wholesome chapter!
> 
> I know that, technically, Mettaton and Muffet hardly seem to know each other. All there is to go on in canon is that he hired her, and that's basically all there is.  
> Still, when you look at it, Mettaton's friend pool is surprisingly shallow - it's no surprise that the fanbase claimed Muffet as a friend of his.
> 
> And I love the two of them together. They have plenty of differences, but I also feel like they actually would be friends. They complement each other well, but offer enough contrast that things stay interesting.
> 
> So far, when it comes to Mettaton's thought process, he hasn't really gotten the best opportunities to express himself; he's been speaking to people (Alphys, Shyren and Napstablook) that are on a different wavelength to him. Muffet, on the other hand, understands him more, and is able to draw a different perspective out.  
> Plus, I can imagine that he's be more comfortable expressing his genuine thoughts more freely to someone who he believes understands them.
> 
> Plus, I've realized that Muffet is tons of fun to write. I'm not quite sure that I have her dialogue down yet, but she's a fun character to try to get into the mindframe of!
> 
> See y'all next time! As always, comments and criticism are appreciated!


	6. Mettaton 3D: The Family's Furred Member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton meets up with Napstablook to discuss the current direction of Underground Mysteries.
> 
> Napstablook, however, has invited a guest along.  
> What could possibly go wrong?

Having hedged his bets on Muffet, Mettaton was at a roadblock in his investigation.

Until she got back to him, all he could really do was go back over what he had already learned – which wasn’t a whole lot.

The only real evidence he had to go on was the _lack_ of evidence; the fact that the Underground’s greatest celebrity, an avid forum lurker, a quiet watcher of the most history-obsessed area of the Underground, a freelancer with eyes and ears everywhere and the king’s own royal scientist had absolutely no knowledge of the origins of the CORE had to mean something, right?

Plus, the total absence of any documentation was _very_ sketchy. Despite his inability to understand the idea, he grasped the concept of people wanting to avoid the spotlight; some people just weren’t comfortable being stars.

However, they still wanted _recognition_ for their work, didn’t they? Alphys may not like appearing on television, but he knew for a fact that her name was front and centre on her scientific documents (as it should be). Likewise, even if Shyren and Blooky weren’t the type to fly solo, that didn’t mean that they wanted to go uncredited when they had lesser roles in his works. Like anyone, they wanted their hard work to be acknowledged.

So what was the deal with this absentee architect? Did they seriously want to forego any accreditation? Or were their other circumstances which led to them having their name removed from the records?

The more Mettaton thought about it, the _less_ sense he could make of any of it. He’d just have to wait for Muffet to get back to him.

He checked his phone, just on the off-chance that he had missed a message, or that she had called since his last check, three minutes ago. As tempting as it was to call her to see if any progress had been made, he decided against it. In his own experience, people tended to work better when they didn’t have someone breathing down their proverbial necks.

When he heard his ever-familiar ringtone going off, he leapt at the chance to answer. He was excited enough that he didn't even stop to listen to his beloved little tune!

“HELLO, THIS IS METTATON! TO WHOM DO I OWE THE PLEASURE?”

“uh... it’s me. s-sorry, it’s napstablook.”

If not for the fact that he lacked an articulated torso, he would have slumped over in defeat. He settled for dramatically flopping onto his back.

Was he _so_ desperate for any scrap of information that he was waiting by the phone like a lovesick teenager? Of all people, surely Mettaton had more dignity than that?

“uh... hello? Are you there? it hasn’t gone to voicemail, has it...?”

“NO, NO, I’M HERE. APOLOGIES, BLOOKY, JUST A TOUCH... DISTRACTED.”

“oh, um... yeah, i know _that_ feeling, heh... i could call back another time, if you want?”

Oh, was _that_ offer tempting. Right now, he could think of nothing better than writing an album about things that frustrated him. Or wallowing in self-pity, maybe using this ‘lovesick teenager’ phase and building a character around it for another project. Why waste a bad mood when you can turn it into entertainment for your fans, after all?

Still... if Blooky was calling, they must have had good reason to do so. It would be unfair of him not to, at the very least, hear them out.

“NO, IT’S FINE, BLOOKY. WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?”

“well, i was thinking that, um... well, i was going over the echo flower data and i wanted to run some of it by you? I mean... obviously i would have anyway, you’re the boss and all, but, uh... what do you think?”

Oh. Had he forgotten to tell Napstablook and Shyren that they were scrapping that project?

No matter; it wasn’t as though anyone really cared about it, after all. They’d probably be as delighted as he was when they realized that they didn’t have to deal with such claptrap any more.

“I’LL BE OVER WITHIN THE HOUR!”

“cool, cool... by th-”

He disconnected the call before catching the end of Napstablook’s message. He considered calling them back, but it probably wasn’t necessary; he’d hear it from them in person soon enough, anyway.

As frustrating as finding information on the CORE was, he knew that there would at least be joy to be found in discarding the evidence of their fruitless endeavour.

With that thought in mind, he began to prepare for his visit to his cousin’s house.

* * *

True to his word, Mettaton would surely make it to Napstablook’s house with time to spare – three whole minutes, as a matter of fact!

That was one of the best thing about visiting his cousin – the fact that they were neighbours gave him so much more time to prepare!

The door opened before he reached it; evidently, Napstablook had prepared for his arrival.

“GOOD AFTERNOON, BLOOKY! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THESE PAST FEW DAYS?”

“okay, i guess...? i haven’t really done much... just swapping between the usual and this echo flower data...”

“SPEAKING OF WHICH, I HAVE SOME AMAZING NEWS!”

He followed Napstablook to their living room. They didn’t seem too lively, but he knew they’d perk right up as soon as they heard what he had to tell them!

Upon entering the living room, however, it seemed that Napstablook had every right to be in low spirits. As a matter of fact, he was surprised that they weren’t in a fouler mood, given their present company.

“Well, look who finally showed up. TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH!!! Don’t you know it’s RUDE to keep people waiting?”

“WELL, HAD I KNOWN YOU’D BE HERE, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY HAVE ADJUSTED MY SCHEDULE.”

He turned to Napstablook, silently demanding an explanation.

“i... i did try to tell you. We met up the other day and she said she’d be willing to help me with the research. I mean... i know it's a little sudden, but... family time, an extra perspective... that's gotta be a good thing, right?”

“Exactly. Exactly! EXACTLY!!! Even if SOME family members tend to GET more help than they’d ever GIVE.”

He was seething. Less than five minutes had passed, and he was already close to throttling her. Still, he knew that his news would wipe that smug smile off of her face.

“OH, BLOOKY, I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU ABOUT MY EXCELLENT NEWS YET!”

“oh, yeah, that. what’s up?”

“THE ECHO FLOWER PROJECT... IS CANCELLED!”

He shot out a small burst of confetti, which he followed up with a round of applause.

He hadn’t expected Napstablook to clap, of course, but the look on their face was certainly a deviation from what he had expected.

“WELL? ISN’T THAT AMAZING? NOW WE WON’T HAVE TO PORE OVER ALL OF THAT MEANINGLESS DRIBBLE, AND WE CAN FOCUS ON A _REAL_ PROJECT! AND AS FOR MEW MEW, WELL, WE'LL GET BACK TO HER IF ANYTHING OPENS UP.”

“...oh.”

Had they... not understood him? They actually seemed disappointed!

“i get it, i guess... i know you thought the whole echo flower idea was dumb.”

“And because it’s what HE thinks, everyone else has to deal with it. Typical. Typical! TYPICAL!!!”

With that, Mew Mew aggressively sauntered over to Mettaton, obviously looking for a fight.

“That’s how it is with you, right? Doesn’t matter what everybody else thinks, as long as Mettaton’s happy!”

“WELL AT LEAST I’M _CAPABLE_ OF BEING HAPPY! AND UNLIKE _SOME_ PEOPLE, I ACTUALLY HAVE QUOTAS THAT NEED TO BE MET! I CAN’T JUST LEECH OFF OF PEOPLE THAT ARE _ACTUALLY_ SUCCESSFUL – I HAVE TO SHOW RESULTS!”

Was that too far? Maybe. To be honest, he didn’t really care. It wiped the self-righteous look off of her face.

Replacing it with one of pure, unmitigated rage.

“Just a LEECH, am I?”

“A LEECH WITH FUNCTIONING EARS – YOU’VE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE MIGHT ACTUALLY WANT TO WATCH!”

“Looks like I’m doing better than YOU, then! We all know your channel's sinking - and FAST!”

“I DIDN’T HEAR ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE QUALITY OF MY CHANNEL WHEN WE WERE DRAFTING A CONTRACT FOR YOUR MINI-SERIES!”

“You didn’t hear anything because you CANCELLED it, cretin!”

He didn’t have an immediate response to that one.

Okay, so maybe he had promised her a mini-series. And maybe his board of investors didn’t like the idea. So, _maybe_ , he went behind her back and had the whole project canned.

It was hardly _his_ fault! No investors means no projects at all! Sure, he could have been a little more tactful – which he would have been if he was dealing with _anyone_ else – but the whole thing was out of his hands!

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SO WORKED UP ABOUT, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU WEREN’T COMPENSATED FOR IT!”

“Ohhh ho ho, so METTATON cares more about MONEY than ARTISTIC INTEGRITY. I can hardly BELIEVE my EARS!!!”

Every single one of his panels went red.

He’d take all of her petty insults and jibes in stride – he'd even accept that some of them were warranted - but there was _no way_ he was going to let her get away with a comment like that.

“g-guys... come on, does it have to be like this _every_ time...?”

They both turned to Napstablook; though neither was particularly sorry for their behaviour, both felt some degree of shame upon seeing how downtrodden their cousin looked.

“i knew this was a stupid idea... i shouldn't have sprung it on you without telling either of you...i just thought that if the three of us worked together on this that things might... i dunno, be different... sorry.”

Mew Mew shot a scowl at Mettaton – he couldn’t do the same, but he made it clear that the sentiment was shared.

Still, if there was any reason that he’d willingly form a truce with her...

“...NO, BLOOKY, IT WAS OUR FAULT.”

“...Yeah. We didn’t come here to argue.”

Napstablook looked hopefully between the two of them. It seemed that they were expecting more, and that an unspoken agreement between the two not to kill each other was unsatisfactory.

Mettaton and Mew Mew turned to face each other. Mew Mew nodded in Mettaton’s direction, and he tilted himself forward to reciprocate the gesture.

With that, both turned back to Napstablook – they seemed a little confused by what they had just witnessed, but the intended message seemed to shine through.

“r-right... that’s good... i think? S-so, uh... guess we should get to work, huh?”

“RIGHT YOU ARE, BLOOKY! WHICH REMINDS ME – I WOULDN’T HAVE DROPPED THE OLD PROJECT IF I DIDN’T HAVE SOMETHING EXCITING TO REPLACE IT WITH!”

“oh yeah... what did you have in mind?”

“WE’RE SEARCHING FOR THE CREATOR OF THE CORE!”

Once again, he was underwhelmed by their reaction.

“oh, that? you never found out who it was in the end?”

“NO – AND GET THIS, NOBODY ELSE HAD ANY IDEA, EITHER! MUFFET DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING, AND EVEN ALPHYS DIDN’T HAVE THE FAINTEST IDEA!”

Mew Mew, who had been feigning disinterest, perked up upon hearing Alphys’ name.

“Alphys? Like, Undyne’s girlfriend?”

“YES, THE VERY SAME. SURELY THE FACT THAT EVEN THE ROYAL SCIENTIST DOESN’T KNOW IS INTRIGUING, RIGHT?”

Mew Mew thought it over, giving a vague “Hmm” in response. He knew that he was never going to get a genuine concession that he'd come up with a solid plan, so he’d accept what he could get for the moment.

“that... i mean, yeah, that is kinda weird. Still...are we sure this is a good idea?”

“WHAT? OF COURSE IT’S A GOOD IDEA! I’VE BEEN COMBING THROUGH DATA WITH ALPHYS, YET THERE’S NOT SO MUCH AS A TRACE OF OUR PERPLEXING PIONEER ANYWHERE!”

“yeah, i get that, but...what if it’s for a reason?”

Mettaton wasn’t following whatsoever. Mew Mew seemed to figure something out, at least.

“What, you’re saying that they got eighty-sixed or something?”

Napstablook looked down, concern plastered over their face.

“i dunno... i’m probably overthinking it or something, but... i’m getting a weird vibe from all of this. I guess that’s not very helpful, though... sorry.”

Surprisingly, Mew Mew seemed receptive to what Napstablook was saying. Seeing her make use of critical thinking could warrant an episode of _Underground Mysteries_ to itself – a thought that Mettaton wisely decided not to vocalize.

“I mean, if there’s really no trace of ‘em, it CAN’T be for a good reason, right? Either they did somethin’ that was worth hidin’, or they REALLY didn’t wanna be found.”

It was finally starting to come together for Mettaton – the possibility that this research was dangerous.

It hadn’t occurred to him before, but it was a valid point to consider. If the CORE’s creator _did_ go off the radar willingly, there was a significant chance that they had no desire to be found. If someone else was responsible, they were disturbingly thorough in wiping this person from any records – and there was nothing to say that that couldn’t happen a second time.

Yet, despite that, Mettaton did not find himself feeling deterred. In fact, the danger only served as an additional motivator – it would certainly be exciting for the audience!

“i... i was alone for a long time in the underground when everyone went their own ways. Now the three of us are back together... i don’t wanna lose the two of you again. what if you guys get hurt or something? Or wiped away like this other person seems to have been...?”

“COME NOW, BLOOKY! YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE GREATEST CELEBRITY IN THE HISTORY OF MONSTERKIND! I'VE TOUCHED THE HEARTS AND SOULS OF JUST ABOUT EVERY MONSTER OUT THERE - THERE'S NO WAY THAT SOMETHING LIKE THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ME!”

Napstablook didn’t seem convinced.

“i mean... you’d think that about a royal scientist too, right? one that built one of the most important inventions in monster history? still... i guess i can’t change your mind, huh...?”

Before he could attempt to assuage Napstablook’s fears, Mew Mew decided to butt in.

“Well then – it seems like you’ll need ME to get involved! And it just so happens that I don’t have any current obligations! If there’s ANYONE you can trust to keep the overgrown calculator in check, it’s me, me, ME!”

“INDEED, BLOOKY – MEW MEW DOES A STELLAR JOB OF WATCHING ME, FOLLOWING ME AND COPYING WHAT I DO, SHE'S THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR KEEPING A CLOSE EYE ON ME!”

Mew Mew being involved with the project certainly wasn’t ideal. He knew that she’d only make things more difficult, and would definitely cause him several migraines before things were wrapped up.

Still, if it would make Napstablook more comfortable... he’d tolerate her.

“i... i mean, if you guys are gonna work together... i guess you’d have each other’s backs, huh?”

Neither one answered – they’d prevent each other from dying, if absolutely necessary, but ‘having each other’s backs’ was definitely an overstatement.

Still, Napstablook didn’t seem to notice.

“s-so, uh... what’s the plan?”

“WELL... CURRENTLY, NOTHING. I’VE SENT MUFFET OUT TO GATHER SOME INTEL, SO WE’LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR HER REPORT BEFORE WE MAKE OUR NEXT MOVE.”

“...oh. that makes sense, i guess. uh...”

Silence overtook the trio, and Napstablook was struggling to get things moving again. Conversation didn’t come easily when two out of three participants hated each other.

“...does anyone wanna see what i put together about the echo flowers? i-i know we're not doing that, but... if you guys wouldn't mind...”

Neither Mettaton nor Mew Mew was particular enthusiastic in their response. Nevertheless, they agreed to take a quick peek, if only for the sake of their cousin's feelings.

As he had expected, it was extremely dull. It was a simple slideshow, with a few graphs and a few notes discussing the nature of the echo flowers. It was reasonably well-presented, but there was simply no salvaging such a dismally unexciting concept.

“AND TO THINK – WE ALMOST AIRED THIS!”

“...huh?”

“IMAGINE, DEDICATING AN ENTIRE EPISODE TO SOMETHING SO BLAND!”

“...is it really that bad?”

Mettaton was ready to launch into a tirade, but something stopped him. It was only after stopping that he realized the implications of what he had said.

“NOT YOUR WORK, BLOOKY, I JUST MEANT THE EPISODE’S CONCEPT! BOTH YOU AND SHYREN DID A FANTASTIC JOB WITH WHAT YOU WERE GIVEN!”

Sadly, his explanation didn’t quite seem to get through to Napstablook. They shut their computer down abruptly, before slowly floating towards their bedroom. Their eyes were glued to the floor the entire time.

“i... i’m not really feeling up to much else today. sorry. you can hang out if you want but... i’m gonna lie down for a bit.”

Mettaton was left speechless. He considered calling after his cousin or even following them, but he figured that it would be pointless - when they were feeling so low, little could rouse them. Sometimes, watching something on the MTT Network would work, but he had a feeling that that wasn't going to work this time. It would be best to just leave them to their own devices for now.

He'd feel much more comfortable in himself if that had only been the first time he'd said that as of late.

“I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting that. Spotlight’s off ya for ONE SECOND and all of a sudden, things go south.”

He didn’t say anything. He wanted to, but he wasn’t going to do anything that could further upset Napstablook.

“Tch, NOW he can keep his mouth shut. ...If you were serious about gettin’ me on-board with this show of yours, you know where to find me.”

He considered all manner of different ways to reject her. Different ways of telling her that he was just trying to peace-keep, and that he certainly wasn’t going to insult the viewers by getting her involved.

Yet, despite everything going through his head, he didn’t say any of it.

“FINE. I’LL GET THE PAPERWORK WRITTEN UP TONIGHT.”

One look at Mew Mew’s face made her thoughts clear: she didn’t trust him. She was obviously thinking back on the last time he said that, and how well that had gone. Perhaps she was considering telling _him_ to take a hike.

Yet, with a sour look on her face, she, too, restrained herself.

“Whatever. Whatever... Whatever! Do what ya want. We’ll see what happens.”

With that, she strode out of the room and out the front door.

On the whole, despite the forward momentum that had been achieved, today felt like a failure. Napstablook was on-board with the project, Mew Mew was also on-board (He was still unsure as to whether or not that was a positive) and, even if there was still little to go on, there was another viewpoint on the investigation that was worth considering.

Yet, even with everything that had gone right today, one thing had gone wrong. One thing that was his own fault, and that he couldn’t justify, nor could he shift or share the blame.

At the very least, there was one thing that hadn’t changed since this morning: today _did_ look like a ‘dramatic angsting and channelling his frustrations into entertainment for others’ kind of day.

Of course, he could only manage the latter if he could lift the weight of guilt from his soul.

The sniffling he could hear from the next room over made it clear to him that that wasn’t going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, we have our final member of the main cast - Mad Mew Mew!  
> I've been looking forward to adding her - I think that she provides the potential for some very interesting interactions and developments!  
> I'd say it's been made pretty clear, but just to be 100%, this fic carries the assumption that she, Napstablook and Mettaton are all cousins.
> 
> Also, I figure now is the best time to address it - Burgerpants most likely won't be in this fic.  
> It seems like an odd thing to address, but as far as Mettaton's sphere goes, he's a pretty significant figure. Even ignoring his thematic role and what he may represent in relation to Mettaton as a character, he shows up with Mettaton and crew in the True Pacifist epilogue.  
> The more I tried to fit him in when planning, though, the more I realized that it just wouldn't work.  
> This story involves Mettaton's growth as a character, and showing his development as a person - when examining Mettaton as a character, Burgerpants is this bizarre outlier that just... doesn't seem to fit.  
> He puts forth the idea of Mettaton as a horrible boss - yet many other employees say the opposite.  
> Mettaton dedicates entire albums to how much he hates Burgerpants - it's hard to reconcile that with the rest of his character, especially in relation to his development in this story.  
> Not to mention, Burgerpants is a satirical character on the whole. He looks like a John Kricfalusi character, he hates his life and, while he does show some positive traits, they're vastly overshadowed by his general nature. Even in Deltarune, which shows a different side to most characters, he acts the same and even makes a Five Nights at Freddy's reference. He's just... a bizarre outlier in general. He doesn't really work in the context of the fic, and I don't think I could write him into an emotional story while doing justice to his actual character.  
> So... yeah, all that amounts to is "Burgerpants doesn't fit in this fic so I'm probably not gonna mention him at all".
> 
> So, going back to the actual fic, we once again have Mettaton hurting Napstablook's feelings. At least he knew why this time, right?  
> The scene at the end between Mettaton and Mew Mew does come across as a little stilted, but that's mostly intentional - Mew Mew needs the exposure, so she can't really turn down the job. Mettaton doesn't want her involved, but he doesn't want to hurt Napstablook even more, so he deals with it.  
> Neither one really likes the situation, but they both benefit from it, so they just say "Fine" and get on with it.  
> We'll see how that develops!
> 
> Also, as for the timing, I'm trying to keep it to a weekly schedule if possible.  
> Didn't manage this week, had some stuff going on, but hopefully the chapter length makes up for it!
> 
> Guess that's all for now - thanks to everybody who's following the fic!  
> See y'all next time! As always, comments and criticisms are appreciated!


	7. A Whole Lot of Nothin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few less than stellar days, Mettaton is in a less-than-good mood.
> 
> Perhaps a visit from Muffet will change that...?

Mettaton was slowly inching towards insanity.

Muffet had yet to contact him – in a few hours, it would be four days since they had spoken. He couldn’t deny that his patience was beginning to wear thin. Surely she’d have an update of _some_ sort by now? Even a vague lead that she was following up? _Something?_

He knew he was getting ahead of himself. Muffet never gave anything less than her fullest effort to a job – she was thorough. He respected that; she didn’t cut corners, nor did she give up in the face of adversity.

He just... _really_ needed a distraction.

His last encounter with Napstablook was still playing on his mind. He found himself, far too frequently, wondering about what they were up to. About whether or not they had left their house – or even their room – since their last encounter.

He had gone over different possible ways to apologize, but everything came up short in his mind. He couldn’t think of any words that would really befit his feelings, and he couldn’t think of any kind of gift that would be appropriate, either. The more time he left it hanging, the more extravagant whatever apology he’d issue would have to be – was there an expiration date on apologies?

Any time he managed to shake the worries of apologizing from his mind, he was brought back to reality.

Unfortunately, ‘reality’ involved the legal documentation that came with involving Mew Mew in his projects.

Of all the bodies she could inhabit, it would just _have_ to be a copyrighted character, wouldn’t it? And, despite the obscurity of the animé itself, the company behind it were nothing to scoff at. As a result, negotiations behind Mew Mew’s appearances on any televised media were messy. Not that _she_ had to deal with it, of course.

No, just money-grubbing, artistic-integrity-lacking Mettaton. The same never-happy Mettaton that had combed through all forty two pages of the extensive paperwork that came with having to explain monster biology and ghost culture to a team of lawyers – he was just hoping that it wouldn’t take multiple drafts to approve. He knew how stingy and pedantic they could be, and just hoped that his thorough explanation of how important a ghost’s body was would afford him some lenience. Knowing that there was no chance of that, he’d hoped they’d accept a small settlement.

And so, there was another issue that he could do nothing but wait on. Still, he finally had the chance to take a break!

It wasn’t often that he got a moment to slow down and just-

Before he could finish that thought, he heard a light knock on his office door. He quickly braced himself – whoever it was had better have a good reason for interrupting the single moment of peace he’d had over the past few days.

He rolled over and opened the door.

“Did you miss me, Mett?~”

_FINALLY_. He ushered her in, offering her a seat. He could really use some good news, and he knew that Muffet would be the one to deliver.

“WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR ME, DARLING?”

“...Hmph. I’m doing _very well_ , thank you for asking.”

“MUFFET, I’VE SPENT THE LAST SEVERAL DAYS DEALING WITH LEGAL PAPERWORK. I’M REALLY IN NO MOOD FOR PLEASANTRIES.”

It wasn’t often that Mettaton showed his true emotions to people – scandals were a dime a dozen, and he couldn’t risk his public image being damaged.

Still, he had a few people he could afford to lower his restrictions around – Muffet being one of them. He rarely admitted when he was struggling, nor would he show frustration too clearly. Muffet was one of the few people that neither had him on a pedestal nor was out to ruin him, which meant that he could be a little more honest with her.

Even at that, however, it was rare for him to admit to being worn down. As such, Muffet knew that, if possible, dalliances should be avoided – they knew when and when not to push each other’s buttons (for the most part).

“I have some news, but I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

“PROBABLY NOT. GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.”

She had some good leads that were taking longer than expected. She needed some more time to think things over. She had some information and wanted to haggle with him.

He’d take _any_ of it, as long as she didn’t say-

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t find anything.”

“...PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS IS SOME KIND OF CRUEL JOKE.”

“I’m afraid not.”

He was very glad that he hadn’t been holding anything. He doubted that it would have survived.

“SURELY THERE’S SOMETHING THAT YOU MAY HAVE MISSED? OR, PERHAPS, SOMETHING THAT YOU DEEMED TOO DANGEROUS THAT COULD HAVE YIELDED AN ANSWER?”

“I checked the CORE as thoroughly as I could; there were a few places that I couldn’t get to-”

“THAT’S SOMETHING! ...RIGHT?”

She sighed and shook her head. If he was any other client, she most likely wouldn’t be humoring him.

“I doubt it. I had a few spiders look around the places that I couldn’t – they couldn’t be as thorough as me, of course, but from what they described, there wasn’t much worth looking at.”

“AND YOU DIDN’T FIND ANYONE THAT KNEW ANYTHING? EVEN THE TINIEST DETAIL?”

“No. I searched through every record I could find, but there are no employees or associates that I could call – no janitors, no maintenance crew... even suppliers for materials aren’t listed anywhere. It may have been reaching, but I ended up trying the Ice Wolf from Snowdin. That went about as well as could be expected.”

He was at a loss.

If Muffet couldn’t find anything, what hope did _he_ have?

His despair must have been evident – Muffet closed her eyes and fiddled with her hands, something that she only did when deep in thought.

“You know... there _was_ one suspect that I avoided. I didn’t think that you’d appreciate my usual method of... questioning, given the candidate.~”

“I’M NOT LIKING MY CURRENT SITUATION EITHER, DARLING. WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN MIND?”

“Wellllllll... a certain nerd that you’re fond of might have some details.~”

“...WAIT, DO YOU MEAN ALPHYS?”

Muffet nodded in response. She thought that Alphys was hiding something from him...?

“I DON’T THINK SO; SHE WAS JUST AS PERPLEXED AS I WAS BY THIS WHOLE AFFAIR. WE MAY HAVE HAD A FEW... MISSTEPS... BUT I KNOW THAT SHE HAS NOTHING TO HIDE FROM ME AT THIS POINT.”

“My, my... you seem _quite_ confident about that.~”

“IS THAT AN ISSUE?”

“Wellllllll... if you’re so sure, why not ask her if we can poke around her lab? After all, if she has _nothing to hide_ , she shouldn’t mind, right?~”

Well, he supposed he couldn’t fault her logic. Surely, the lab of the royal scientist would be as good a place as any to be searching?

“I... CAN’T DENY THAT YOU’RE MAKING SENSE. ALRIGHT THEN, I’LL GIVE HER A CALL.”

As he waited for her to pick up, he felt an odd sense of trepidation. Perhaps it was just the way that Muffet had framed the situation, but it felt less like a harmless inquiry and more like a thinly-veiled accusation.

Alphys could do without any more of those.

“Hello?”

“HELLO, ALPHYS! IT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PERFORMER, BRINGING YOU A PERSONALIZED NEWS BULLETIN!”

“...okay?”

He knew that he had more than likely woken her up, but... _some_ enthusiasm would be appreciated.

“WELL, THE NEWS IS... THERE IS NO NEWS. EVERY LEAD WE HAVE ON THE CORE HAS GONE DEAD. BUT...”

“but...?”

“WELL, WE HAD A FEELING THAT SEARCHING YOUR LAB MIGHT YIELD A RESULT OR TWO? AFTER ALL, IF THERE _WAS_ A ROYAL SCIENTIST BEFORE YOU, IT’S THE MOST LIKELY PLACE FOR THEM TO LEAVE SOMETHING BEHIND, RIGHT?”

He couldn’t help but feel a touch nervous as he waited for her response. It was a shame that Alphys wasn’t more open to video calls – it would have made things much easier.

“I dunno... I mean, I cleared out pretty much everything of value when we moved to the surface. I-I don’t think I missed anything.”

Muffet, who had gotten far too close for his liking, leaned back in her chair with an unduly smug expression.

“ _Some_ body has something to hide...~”

He swatted her away; Alphys didn’t seem to have heard Muffet’s remark, but she’d be more likely to hear the spider’s high-pitched tittering.

“I’M SURE YOU WERE VERY THOROUGH, DARLING, BUT SURELY ONE LAST SWEEP WOULDN’T DO ANY HARM? AFTER ALL, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ANY OF THIS CORE BUSINESS TO BE IMPORTANT WHEN YOU WERE CLEARING OUT, RIGHT?”

“...I guess not. S-Still, I d-don’t think I’m gonna go along. I’d, uh, rather not th-think about that place if I don’t have to.”

“NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL, ALPHYS! WE CAN JUST DO A QUICK EXCHANGE OF KEYS AND I’LL BE-”

“W-Wait! We need to s-set up ground rules first!”

He resisted the urge to scream. He understood that things were still a little rough between them, but what was she expecting him to do wrong this time?!

Still, there was no use in arguing. If she was uncomfortable, she was uncomfortable; he’d just have to work with her and compromise where he could.

“RIGHT, RIGHT. WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?”

“W-well... most of it I’ll have to, um, explain in person. But, for now... uh...”

Once again, he had to swat Muffet away; she was _loving_ this. He almost wondered if she was _trying_ to aggravate him – as soon as he had gotten her to move back, she started to rummage through the files on his desk.

Before he could tell Muffet to stop, Alphys finally managed to articulate her supposed ‘conditions’.

“I g-guess the only real thing I can say for now is to... be p-prepared, I guess? So you can be in and out as fast as p-possible?”

“BUT OF COURSE – YOU KNOW ME, DARLING, I’M ALL ABOUT EFFICIENCY. I HAVEN’T GOT A SINGLE LAZY BONE IN MY BODY!”

“I-I mean, t-technically, you have a robotic e-endoskeleton... s-so, in a way, you kinda do...? Ehehe...”

As much as he appreciated Alphys’ vague attempt at comedy... her delivery was certainly lacking. He didn’t even have it in him to play canned laughter as a response.

Well, at least he had learned one way to stop Muffet from laughing.

“A-anyway... uh... m-maybe you should have an extra p-person or two to speed things up a little?”

He turned to Muffet and looked her dead in the eyes. It was a shame that he hadn’t been in his EX form; as iconic as his regular form was, it couldn’t truly convey the wicked delight that he felt in that moment.

“WELL, I’M SURE THAT MUFFET WOULDN’T MIND!”

Though she huffed and scowled at him, he knew that she would help – after receiving the invoice for her new equipment, it was the _least_ she could do.

“O-okay... is there, um, anybody else that could come along? M-maybe someone with, y’know... a different, uh, t-temperament?”

Mettaton didn’t understand why that would matter. He glanced over to Muffet, silently asking what was being implied.

“What she means is that you should bring someone along who’ll stop you from getting side-tracked, dearie.~”

As tempted as he was to tell Alphys that the two of them were more than capable of handling things themselves, he restrained himself. That would more than likely just put her on edge, which he really _did not_ want.

That being said, who could fill that role?

Given the fact that he and Napstablook seemed to be on shaky terms, he figured that they might not be the best candidate as things stood.

Shyren was, of course, out of the question. Considering the fact that her sister was turned into an Amalgamate there, it would be in _incredibly_ poor taste.

As he cycled through his options, Muffet picked up a few sheets of paper from his desk and started to wave them in his face. He cursed her, and hoped that the powerful red glow of his screen communicated just how much he hated her proposal.

Still... it wasn’t like he had many other options; he had enough respect for Alphys not to bring in someone that neither of them knew too well, and it seemed that most of the remaining options were infeasible. With that being the case, he faced the grim reality:

Mew Mew was the only other option that he really had.

“VERY WELL, ALPHYS. I DO HAVE SOMEONE THAT I COULD BRING ALONG. HER TEMPERAMENT IS _QUITE_ DIFFERENT TO MINE.”

“Uh... o-okay... then, uh... I g-guess I can explain the rest later? Maybe c-call me back when the three of you have a d-date?”

“OF COURSE, OF COURSE. UNTIL THEN, DARLING!”

As soon as he had disconnected the call, Muffet’s smile widened.

“My, my... At first, I was actually quite put out by your _surprise invitation_ , but I think that this little outing of ours will end up being very entertaining! Ahuhuhuhu!~”

“WELL... AS LONG AS WE CAN GET SOME RESULTS. I HOPE THAT THE VIEWERS ARE AWARE OF HOW MUCH I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH FOR THEIR SAKES.”

“There’s nothing special about a by-the-numbers entertainer, dearie... now, watching someone _squirm_ for the audience? That’s _much_ more exciting!~”

She stood up and straightened herself out. He didn’t know how long they had been sitting there for, but he supposed that it had been long enough that she needed to stretch her legs.

“I think it’s time for me to get back to work – pastries don’t make themselves, after all! Once you’ve settled on a time for our outing, just give me a call!”

“OF COURSE – I’M SURE THAT THE ARRANGEMENTS WILL GO _SWIMMINGLY_ , WITH NO UNNECESSARY SQUABBLING WHATSOEVER...”

With one final chuckle at his misfortune, Muffet left him alone.

He couldn’t help but notice that, for as aggravating as she could be, he _did_ enjoy her company. He felt a rather prominent disappointment in knowing that he was alone once more.

Still, there was work to be done, he understood as much – her bakery _was_ her primary concern. She couldn’t allow their business (or even their friendship) to stand in the way of her dreams. A mindset that he understood all too well.

And, of course, he _did_ have his own business to attend to. Even if he’d really rather not.

Still, the sooner he called her, the sooner it would all be over with. Steeling himself, he called Mew Mew’s number.

“Hi there, you’ve reached Mad Mew Mew! If you’re calling for-”

“MEW MEW, IT’S ME.”

“Oh. Well, whaddya want? I don’t have all day!”

Off to a great start. Mew Mew was as charming as ever.

“HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT SOME INVESTIGATING? MUFFET AND I ARE GOING TO SEARCH ALPHYS’ LAB, AND SHE WANTS US TO HAVE A THIRD PERSON ALONG FOR... SAFETY REASONS.”

“Safety reasons? HA! Let me guess, it’s because she thinks the two of you will LOUSE things up! I’m right, aren’t I?”

“DO YOU WANT THE JOB OR NOT?”

He could just _feel_ her smug smile from the other end of the phone. The arms crossed, holier-than-thou attitude that she couldn’t go five minutes without-

“Alright, alright, alright!”

That went more smoothly than expected. Honestly, he had expected at least a few petty arguments, but he’d hardly complain.

“EXCELLENT. MUFFET AND I WILL WORK OUT A DATE AND TIME, AND WE CAN-”

“Ah-ah-ah, hold on a minute there, BUB. You don’t get to just call ME up and then make all these demands. If I’m gonna be doing this, I’m gonna do it MY way!”

That was more in-line with his expectations.

Settling himself in for the long haul, he awaited the barrage of demands from Mew Mew. Unfortunately, she had come across the practice of making outrageous demands so that you’d still benefit greatly, even after negotiating. Still, it was only a minor appearance – how much could she really ask for?

“So, let’s talk about branding... How’s about ‘ _Underground Mysteries – featuring Mad Mew Mew!_ ’?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Muffet and Mettaton interactions! They don't get to shine quite as much as I'd like to, but they're still a lot of fun together.
> 
> Alphys and Mettaton are still on shaky ground - Mettaton is trying to respect Alphys' boundaries, but he's questioning how fair they are.  
> He's not used to, as far as he's concerned, kowtowing to the demands of others. Having to do it so frequently is definitely not sitting well with him.
> 
> Mew Mew, of course, continues to live her best life.  
> The way I've been imagining her situation is that, while "Mew Mew: Kissy Cutie" may be an obscure animé that no one remembers, it's made by some big company that's still involved with huge franchises. Think of it as something like what Mother 3 is to Nintendo.  
> As such, they can still sue for the use of their copyrighted image. Even if their image is being used by someone who has fused their soul with a doll. The legalities surrounding monster biology hasn't been worked out yet, sadly.
> 
> So, all in all, not Mettaton's happiest moment - but it's progress all the same. Sort of. Not really.


	8. Loading...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton, Muffet and Mew Mew search the lab in a last-ditch effort to find a lead on the CORE's creator.
> 
> Sadly, searching is difficult when everyone involved is worn out.

Today was the day. As far as he could see, the lab was their last chance – if they didn’t find something of substance today, they most likely wouldn’t be finding anything at all.

The thought didn’t sit right with Mettaton.

It wasn’t as though he had never been involved with less-than-successful projects before; it was all part of the job.

Still, no matter how poorly a project was received, he made a point to see it through to the end – anything less would be an insult to the audience. If they were going to follow his works, the least he could do was give them a complete, cohesive story. Even if it was more difficult in some cases than others...

Still... he was at a loss. It certainly wasn’t because of a lack of effort; he was doing everything that he could to make this project work. Yet, here he was. Facing yet _another_ dead end.

If they didn’t find anything, the project would most likely have to be dropped. After all, the audience weren’t watching for speculation, they were watching for _answers_.

In any case, worrying wasn’t going to get him anywhere – true, he may not find any answers in the lab, but he _certainly_ wasn’t going to find any in the studio.

He strolled towards the exit, a little more slowly than he usually did. His chassis felt a little heavier than usual, and he couldn’t help but notice the drawn-out squeaking coming from his wheel. Even his arms, which were specifically designed to be light and flamboyant, simply lagged by his sides.

Originally, he had intended to spend the journey to the lab writing up a plan – who would cover what ground, what to do with potential evidence... but it just wasn’t coming to him.

He spent most of it trying to psych himself up – to muster the enthusiasm that he was known for! Failing that, he began to work on _presenting_ himself as enthusiastic. A much easier feat.

As he closed in on the lab, he tried to hastily throw a plan together. Naturally, it was pure nonsense – he discarded it as soon as it was finished.

They’d just have to figure it out as they went... not like they’d been doing any different so far, he supposed.

* * *

To his surprise, Alphys was the only one at the lab when he arrived.

“H-hey. Where, uh... where are the others?”

That was a very good question.

Muffet, he could understand; she had a habit of getting a little too invested in her work. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had run a little over time because a muffin didn’t turn out the way she had wanted it to.

Mew Mew didn’t have any such excuse. She was the one to _decide_ on the time, and had been _very_ insistent about it. Of course, what else could he expect from her?

“LET’S... JUST GIVE THEM A FEW MORE MINUTES.”

“R-right... I, um... I g-guess it’s a good thing that I got to t-talk to you alone first.”

Ah, right. _Ground rules_.

“S-so, the most obvious thing is... n-no filming inside the lab.”

“DON’T WORRY, ALPHYS – WE HAVE NO PLANS TO FILM TODAY. JUST TO GATHER INTEL.”

It wasn’t as though ‘ _Mettaton Looks Around A Musty Lab For Several Hours and Doesn’t Find Anything_ ’ was likely to be a smash hit anyway.

“N-next... I need to review anything you t-take from the lab. J-just... some things might still be considered to be, um, sensitive information.”

He would have liked to think she’d understand – he was _METTATON_. He understood how non-disclosure agreements work.

“And, um... j-just be careful, okay? Try not to... y’know... break anything or m-mess with anything you don’t have to?”

“GIVE ME SOME CREDIT, ALPHYS! IF I CAN WALK A TIGHTROPE WHILE BEING PELTED WITH EXPLODING CONFETTI BALLS, I CAN MANOEUVRE AROUND A LAB!”

She didn’t seem to be entirely convinced, but she didn’t press the matter any further.

“L-lastly... I... I’m gonna be honest, I don’t think there’s anything to find in there.”

“HMM? WHAT’S WITH THE NEGATIVE NOTIONS ALL OF A SUDDEN?”

“I j-just... I... I have a feeling. I can’t really explain it.”

Well, _that_ was helpful.

“I j-just... what I mean is that... the files on the Amalgamates are down there. If you don’t find anything... w-well, they’re there.”

There was a point when such an offer would have left him overjoyed. Now, however... all it signalled was the impending failure of the current project.

“THANK YOU, DARLING. STILL, I DOUBT WE’LL NEED THEM – THERE’S GOT TO BE SOMETHING DOWN THERE!”

He had wavered. It was just a tiny little wobble, it would have gone unnoticed to most.

Yet the incredulous look on Alphys’ face made it clear that she had caught it. Thankfully, she chose not to pursue it, and let the conversation drift to idle chit-chat.

It wasn’t long before Muffet showed up; as he had predicted, there had been an issue at the bakery. She was surprisingly tight-lipped about it, refusing to say anything about it outside of how humans could be utterly heartless and couldn’t appreciate something special.

It took another fifteen minutes for Mew Mew to arrive.

Also as he had predicted, she strolled over and offered no excuse other than an assertion that every _real_ celebrity knows to be fashionably late.

‘ _Do Cat Dolls Have Nine Lives?_ ’ - it would certainly be an interesting question, and he had several ideas in mind as to how it could be executed.

As tempting as it was to drift off into a fantasy world, Mettaton knew that he had to rein himself in. There was no use in getting distracted.

Alphys recapped the situation for Muffet and Mew Mew – he had to stifle a laugh at how thoroughly she stressed the importance of being careful to Mew Mew.

“Hey! I can ABSOLUTELY be careful! Just because I like to have a little PASSION in my life doesn’t make me DANGEROUS! Surely Undyne’s girlfriend should know that?!”

“U-um... Undyne b-broke a lot of my lab equipment. Sh-she still does...”

“Oh. Oh... Oh. Well, uh...”

He lost it. Mew Mew being at a loss for words was unheard of, and _oh_ was it a sight to behold.

“Shut it, tin can! Let’s just get this stupid search OVER with already!”

The trio said their goodbyes to Alphys and headed inside, cramming into the elevator to the true lab. Once the moment of levity had passed, Mettaton was once again met with an overwhelming sense of gloom.

Still, he’d just have to deal with things as they came... what else _could_ he do?

* * *

The elevator doors opened, and the trio was met with darkness.

“Wha-? Is this some kinda JOKE? How are we supposed to FIND anything when we can’t even SEE?!”

“THANK YOU FOR YOUR BRILLIANT INSIGHT, MEW MEW. OBVIOUSLY, WE’LL JUST HAVE TO TURN THE LIGHTS ON MANUALLY... WELL, I’VE BEEN DOWN HERE ENOUGH TO KNOW WHERE THE LIGHT SWITCH IS, AT LEAST. I’LL BE BACK IN A-”

“What, so we just sit around waiting for Mettaton to play the hero?”

“ALL I’M DOING IS TURNING THE LIGHTS ON!”

“Ya mean all WE’RE doing is turning the lights on!”

He knew that arguing with her would be futile. With a huff, he turned the brightness up on his panels – just enough to illuminate the path forward. An immense waste of battery, of course; he already knew where he was going, and Muffet would have been content to wait.

No, it was because _Mew Mew_ had to be kept happy. It didn’t matter if it was practical or even within reason, as long as she was appeased.

He really could not fathom what it was that made Napstablook want to keep her around.

Regardless, they made their way through the lab – Muffet cautiously tailed behind him, while Mew Mew brazenly made her way forward.

Between all of the bumps, dings and nudges he was hearing, he was not expecting the ‘don’t break anything’ rule to be upheld.

“MEW MEW, SERIOUSLY, JUST STAY WITHIN RANGE – MY LIGHTS ARE ONLY SO POWERFUL.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, your lights are weak, we get it. Just keep movin’...”

As much as it felt like she was deliberately baiting him, he wouldn’t rise to it. He stifled a counter-argument and kept moving.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before they reached the power room. Where Mew Mew insisted that she throw the switch.

Whatever, if it kept her quiet...

“Aaaand voila!”

After a few seconds of flickering, the musty lights stayed on. They weren’t the most powerful – his own lights were still shining, more brightly than the dim bulbs above them. Still, it was enough that the others could see, and they could finally get to work.

“ALRIGHT. NOW THAT _THAT’S_ OUT OF THE WAY... LET’S GET TO WORK! WE NEED TO COMB THIS PLACE FOR ANY INFORMATION ON THE CORE... OR, FAILING THAT, WE’LL NEED TO FIND THOSE FILES ON THE AMALGAMATES. WHAT’S OUR PLAN OF ACTION?”

He looked over to Muffet expectantly – it only occurred to him at that moment that she hadn’t said too much thus far into the job.

That didn’t seem too out of the ordinary – he had never actually seen her when she was investigating. For all he knew, she was simply the type to work quietly.

However, she didn’t even seem to have heard him – which was definitely out of the ordinary. When Mettaton spoke, _everyone_ heard it.

“EARTH TO MUFFET? ACTION PLAN?”

He waved a hand in front of her face to catch her attention – the fact that it was taking so much effort was disheartening. Perhaps she was just checked out? Perhaps he wasn’t the _only_ one that had low expectations for their success?

Regardless, she snapped back to form almost immediately.

“Apologies, dearie – that’s the effect of a multitasking mind at work!”

She didn’t clarify on what that meant. Well, she was entitled to her privacy; if she didn’t want him to pry, he wasn’t going to.

“Well, in any case... what we’re looking for is evidence of the CORE’s creator. Documentation is the most obvious, but... not everyone leaves behind a paper trail.”

“AND IT SEEMS THAT OUR SUBJECT IN QUESTION HASN’T LEFT ANYTHING BEHIND SO FAR.”

“And if we don’t have anything that points to them, maybe we should try looking at something that points away from someone else.”

His mind flitted back to Muffet’s earlier accusation against Alphys. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about her insistence on the idea, but... she _was_ the expert here. He’d just have to put his faith in Alphys and hope that Muffet found something to clear her of suspicion.

Mew Mew, naturally, didn’t follow.

“I, uh... whaddya mean, ‘points away’...?”

“What I mean, dearie, is that this is a laboratory. Everything here has a designated place and a reason to be there. If we find things that are out of place...”

“Ohhh, I get it! Brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT! So, if anything doesn’t belong HERE, it’s gotta belong to someone ELSE!”

Given the fact that it seemed the team was actually co-operating, he refrained from making any jokes or comments at Mew Mew’s expense.

Instead, it was time to get things moving.

“ALRIGHT, MUFFET. SO, WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?”

“Hmm... it seems that documentation is out the window, but we should still keep an eye out for it. I say we should comb through any scientific research that’s still down here; you’d have a decent idea as to what would or wouldn’t have been in her research, right?”

Of course he would! She had built his body, she did the research that led to the Amalgamates, she... well, he knew she had done plenty of other experiments, such as...

...something to do with yogurt, maybe?

“WELL, IT’S A BIT OF A BLUR AT THE MOMENT, BUT I’M SURE I’LL RECOGNIZE THEM WHEN I SEE THEM!”

Muffet didn’t seem entirely pleased with his answer. Nevertheless, their group slowly made their way around the lab.

The search was dull, to say the very least. Not only had very little actually been left behind after Alphys had left, but it was mostly either her log entries on the Amalgamates (Which he couldn’t take with him) or documents that had no actual information on them.

Muffet found those to be much more interesting than he did.

She took certain ones from him and added them to a folder of some sort – it made no sense to him, but if she found them valuable, that had to be a good thing.

Over time, however, they were covering more of the lab, yet finding no concrete evidence.

“PERHAPS IT MIGHT BE TIME TO CONSIDER A BACK-UP PLAN. DID ANYONE SEE A FOLDER DOCUMENTING THE AMALGAMATE EXPERIMENTS?”

“It was just down the hallway from the elevator... did you need it for something, Mett?”

“WELL... WE’RE NOT EXACTLY MAKING MUCH PROGRESS HERE. ALPHYS AND I SET UP A LITTLE CONTINGENCY PLAN SHOULD WE FAIL TO FIND ANYTHING TODAY. SHE SAID THAT I COULD USE THOSE FILES TO MAKE AN EPISODE ABOUT THE AMALGAMATES.”

To his surprise, Muffet didn’t seem to be too pleased by the idea.

“Hold it, Mett! We’ve been putting a lot of work into this – you, in particular, have put a lot of work into it. I never figured you to be the type to give up!”

“I’M NOT GIVING UP! I’M JUST... PREPARING FOR EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME!”

“Well then... we know where those files are. We can come back for them if we don’t find anything in here. There are still plenty of places that our evidence could be hiding... or maybe we’ll even find the CORE’s creator? Maybe your friend has some skeletons in her closet.~”

Admittedly, he was starting to get a little frustrated – searching every nook and cranny of a grimy lab for clues that didn’t seem to exist was getting tiresome. It wasn’t helped by Muffet’s accusatory attitude towards Alphys.

Still, she was issuing a challenge. And he’d sooner go into business with Mew Mew than back down from a challenge.

“FINE. WE’LL KEEP SEARCHING. BUT WE’D BETTER FIND SOMETHING GOOD SOON...”

“That’s the ticket, Mett!”

They returned to their search and, as expected, were getting nowhere.

He couldn’t even say that he had the luxury of working in silence; Mew Mew felt the need to commentate on everything. He could tolerate her commentary here and there, but it was definitely overstaying its welcome.

“And what do we have here, folks? Yet ANOTHER monitor! What’ll we find with this one? Something glum about people falling down, or some boring science lingo about souls? Only one way to find out!”

She fiddled with the machine, bringing it to life:

“ _now that mettaton’s made it big, he never talks to me anymore._ ”  
“ _...except to ask when i’m going to finish his body._ ”  
“ _but i’m afraid if i finish his body, he won’t need me anymore..._ ”  
“ _then we’ll never be friends ever again._ ”  
“ _...not to mention, every time i try to work on it, i just get really sweaty..._ ”

He froze in place. As far as he had been aware, everything on those screens had detailed Alphys’ experiments with determination.

“Wow. Wow. WOW. Talk about a-”

“SHUT UP.”

Mew Mew had no right to make any comment on his and Alphys’ tumultuous relationship. He was already in a less-than-stellar mood, and he did _not_ need her crossing any lines.

Of course, when did Mettaton’s feelings or basic decency ever get in Mew Mew’s way?

“Don’t tell ME to shut up! I mean, maybe if she was WRONG, but he, wouldn’t be the FIRST time you abandoned anybody, RIGHT?”

“OH, SO THAT’S THE GAME WE’RE GOING TO PLAY, IS IT?”

If she wanted to hit below the belt, he was more than content to do the same.

“BECAUSE, AS I REMEMBER IT, _YOU_ WERE THE FIRST OF US TO LEAVE. AND WHILE I WAS OUT DOING SOMETHING THAT MADE PEOPLE HAPPY, YOU SAT IN A ROTTEN, FESTERING LUMP OF FABRIC IN THE DUMP.”

He’d definitely struck a nerve.

“For your INFORMATION, _I_ was gonna come BACK! Not everyone has someone that can make a body FOR them, so I was making do with what I HAD! And hey – at least I kept the misery to MYSELF! You stepped on EVERYBODY in your way, and that scientist would have been NO different!”

“WELL, FOR _YOUR_ INFORMATION-”

He didn’t get to finish the thought. Muffet stepped in between the two of them, making it clear that their argument was finished.

“Look – the two of you have a history, and it’s not very pleasant. I understand that. But _I_ didn’t come down hear to listen to the two of you howling at each other, I came down here to investigate. So, unless any of this is _relevant_ , I’d suggest we get back to work.”

Ideally, that would have been possible – but he knew how this would go. They’d ‘make up’, only for Mew Mew to eventually throw some sort of barb his way. She’d find some way to goad him into reigniting the argument, she always did.

Given the look on Mew Mew’s face, he had the feeling that she wouldn’t even bother with any pretense of innocence, either – she’d go straight for the kill.

“Fine, if co-operating is going to be _that_ much of a struggle... Mew Mew, be a dear and fetch the Amalgamate files. Mett, you stick with me and we’ll finish searching, then we’ll get to organizing these files.”

Mew Mew didn’t offer an apology or even any clear agreement – but she stomped away, hopefully to get the files.

Muffet led him through the last few rooms, where they continued and concluded their search. As he had expected, they had found nothing but a few more worthless pages.

“SO, THAT’S IT THEN. NOTHING OF VALUE. WHAT A WASTE OF A DAY...”

“Should I tell you what I think, or would that just be a waste of time too?”

He wasn’t used to her talking down to him – she was one of the few people that he didn’t talk to down to, and he figured that it was the same case vice-versa.

“YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, WE’RE HERE TO INVESTIGATE – IF YOU WANT TO TELL ME THAT ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE HAS COME OF THIS, BE MY GUEST!”

She didn’t respond – she crossed her arms and stared at him. Despite the simplicity of her action, it wasn’t long before he started to crack.

“LOOK, IT WASN’T JUST DOWN TO ME, ALRIGHT? SHE WAS OUT OF LINE! SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO SAY WHAT SHE DID!”

Outside of straightening her shoulders out, she didn’t budge.

“I... LOOK, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME HERE? I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN MYSELF AND ALPHYS IS _OUR_ BUSINESS, NO ONE ELSE’S!”

“I see.”

“I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE BEING SO FRUSTRATING RIGHT NOW! EVEN IF I WAS OUT OF LINE, IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE SLIGHTED _YOU_ , IS IT?”

Once again, no response. Whatever she wanted from him, he’d have to work it out if they were going to get anywhere.

So... what was the big deal?

It wasn’t like he’d insulted Muffet, right? He’d barely said a word to her since the fight! They hadn’t spoken at all until they’d finished investigating! Seeing as they hadn’t found anything, he didn’t exactly have any reason to be thrilled, did he? _Sorry_ for actually wanting to make-

Oh.

Maybe she thought that _she_ deserved an apology? But what had he done to her? She was the one that wanted to make progress, but here she was, withholding information from him!

Not to mention, she decided to have an attitude with him out of nowhere! She wouldn’t catch him having an attitude like that!

Or... would she?

Thinking about it, he _had_ been a little abrasive with her at times. Perhaps a little more than was warranted. In fact, saying it back to himself, he couldn’t help but feel ashamed for having demanded her findings from her – he respected her, and it wasn’t like him not to show that.

“LOOK, I’M SORRY, OKAY? I’M JUST... REALLY GETTING WOUND UP. IT FEELS LIKE THERE’S NO WINNING HERE! IF I DON’T FIND ANYTHING, I’M LETTING EVERYONE DOWN, BUT... WE’RE DOING EVERYTHING WE CAN, AND IT’S GOING NOWHERE!”

He needed to reel it in; she wanted an apology, not a pity party.

“STILL... THAT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM. I KNOW I’VE BEEN SOMEWHAT SUBPAR AS A HOST AND EMPLOYER. YOU’VE DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB SO FAR, AND SPEAKING TO YOU THE WAY I’VE BEEN SPEAKING TO YOU TODAY WAS OUT OF LINE.”

She uncrossed her arms.

“Hmm. You do realize that if you were anyone else, I’d have dropped this case by now, right?”

“...I FIGURED AS MUCH. ANY WAY I CAN CONVINCE YOU TO STICK AROUND?”

“Maybe... if you’ll fund some new furniture for my bakery!”

He wasn’t totally sure whether or not she was serious – until one of her hands flew up to her mouth to stifle a giggle.

“DON’T PUSH IT.”

“Okay, okay... I _suppose_ I could settle for hearing you apologize again. I just _love_ hearing it coming from you directly.~”

She was definitely going to milk this for all it was worth. Still, she _did_ deserve it, so...

“ALRIGHT. I WAS WRONG, AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE RESPECTFUL TOWARDS YOU. I’M SORRY.”

“ _Wonderful_ , Mett! I guess that I can stick around for someone whose manners are so impeccable!~”

Content with herself, she took out the folder that she had been carrying with her.

“Now, back to business... do you notice anything about these pages, Mett?”

He skimmed a few of them, and it was just as it had been before.

“THERE’S NO INFORMATION ON THEM?”

“Tsk tsk, incorrect! I think that these pages tell us something _very_ interesting?”

“IF I ADMIT THAT YOUR ABILITY TO BUILD ANTICIPATION IS MASTERFUL, WILL YOU EXPLAIN WHY?”

She laughed, before directing him to look more closely at the pages.

“The pages aren’t blank – most of the information on them is redacted. Like something _was_ there, but it’s been removed.”

“SO... ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT THERE’S A WAY TO ‘UN’REMOVE IT?”

“I doubt it – the strange part is that, no matter which way I look at it, there doesn’t seem to be a trace of what was written there before. Even the ones that were written with a pen or pencil!”

She was hesitating, but he knew that she was on to something. He beckoned her to keep going; she continued, though her confidence was beginning to waver.

“To be honest... it almost seems like these were _printed_ this way. Like... like there’s nothing under them at all. Still... the structure, the formatting... everything lines up too well to be a decoy.”

“PERHAPS THEY WANTED TO ELIMINATE ANY EVIDENCE OF THEIR TIME AS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST? COULD THEY HAVE TAKEN THE ORIGINAL FILES AND PRINTED THEM OUT WITH ANY IDENFITYING INFORMATION REMOVED?”

“That doesn’t seem likely. After all, the experiments _themselves_ are mostly intact. It’s just that anything about the author is gone. There are notebook scraps in here that are entirely redacted... but here’s where it gets _really_ interesting.”

She pulled out a few more pages, and started to point to certain sections in each.

“Your friend’s name pops up a few times. In some of the more heavily censored pages, she gets a scattered mention here and there... but as the information becomes more clear, her credits become more pronounced.”

“WHAT DOES THAT IMPLY?”

“I don’t know... but maybe I was right about her having something to hide.~”

He thought about it for a moment – he wanted to have faith in Alphys, but Muffet’s accusations were gaining more and more ground.

“I’LL... TALK TO HER ABOUT IT. DO YOU MIND IF I HOLD ON TO THESE?”

“Of course, Mett! I won’t need the pages back... you can give the folder back whenever you get the chance. Just remember to slip a note in admitting that I was right.~”

It wasn’t long before Mew Mew returned. She was carrying a thick beige folder under her arm, and her expression was sour.

She trudged over to him, but didn’t make a move to hand the folder over.

“Did either of you find anything?”

“WE... HAVE A FEW IDEAS, BUT VERY LITTLE OF SUBSTANCE.”

“I... think I might have something. Something big.”

He found that _very_ hard to believe, but... well, it wasn’t like they had much else to go on.

“GO ON...?”

“Well, I was... lookin’ at those log entries again. I checked all the ones around the lab to see if there was anything missing.”

Of course. It was definitely to help, and not to see if she could find any more ammunition to use against him.

“Anyway... here’s the thing. There’s no seventeenth entry. I checked every monitor – there are entries from one through to twenty-one, but seventeen is missing. That’s gotta mean something, right?”

“I DOUBT IT – THEY’RE ALPHYS’ ENTRIES, AFTER ALL. WHAT WOULD IT HAVE TO DO WITH THIS CASE?”

“I don’t know! Still, doesn’t it seem a LITTLE strange to you? Why would this one log entry be missing? Maybe it mentions the CORE, or the creator... or something like that! It’s GOTTA be a big deal!”

He didn’t know why she was harping so insistently on it, but it was going to get them nowhere.

“THOSE LOG ENTRIES WERE ALL ABOUT THE DETERMINATION EXPERIMENTS. ALPHYS PROBABLY JUST MIS-NUMBERED THEM GIVEN THE... CIRCUMSTANCES.”

“...Anything for me to be wrong, huh?”

“MEW MEW-”

“What happened to ‘things that point away’? Face it, you’re just SO desperate for me NOT to be right, that you’ll ignore CRUCIAL EVIDENCE if I’M the one pointing it out!”

He should have seen this coming.

“Because hey, since when has METTATON ever been willing to share the spotlight? It’s all about YOU, and how much BETTER you are than everyone else!”

“YOU’RE BEING RIDICULOUS-”

“Oh, _am_ I? Then why are YOU the one that’s always centre-stage? Why is YOUR name on all of the merch?”

“BECAUSE MY NAME ACTUALLY SELLS!”

He hadn’t even intended that one as an insult – people bought things that had the more popular figure on them. That was how it _worked_.

“Well, if your PRECIOUS FANBASE knew that you were nothing but a self-serving, back-stabbing RAT, maybe you wouldn’t BE so popular!”

“MAYBE IF _YOU_ COULD GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT BEING AN ANTAGONISTIC, PETULANT CHILD, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIND CO-WORKERS THAT CAN ACTUALLY TOLERATE BEING AROUND YOU!”

She didn’t have a response to that. At first, he assumed that she was just seething, but when he actually focused on her, he realized that she was on the verge of tears.

Before anyone could say anything, she slammed the folder on the ground.

“Have fun with your stupid show. I hope it flops.”

She didn’t give him the chance to respond before storming out.

Muffet gingerly picked up the folder, checking it for any damage. Once she was satisfied, she held it out to him; he reached over and took it, before wordlessly making his way towards the elevator.

Perhaps it _was_ time to abandon the project... it was causing him more trouble than it was worth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh... so much for weekly updates.  
> Things have been a little rough as of late - I have some stuff going on, and it's been a rollercoaster. As such, getting the motivation together to write something good has become difficult. I've definitely caught that leaking into the story a few times.  
> I'll still update when I can, but I don't want to deliver a subpar product, either. We'll see how it goes.
> 
> As far as the actual chapter goes... what a doozy, eh?  
> For the record, Mew Mew isn't necessarily as bad as Mettaton makes her out to be. I'm trying to keep it balanced, but the story is from his perspective - and he certainly has a biased opinion on her.  
> Things are difficult between the two - I have their timeline planned out pretty clearly, and will be expanding on it over time. They both resent each other for different reasons (outside of the animosity that can be expected between them due to clashing personalities), and the link between them is very tenuous.  
> Hopefully, Mew Mew will get the opportunity to show her side properly - she's not perfect, but she's not the vapid cretin that Mettaton makes her out to be.
> 
> Then there's Muffet - once again, I love writing the relationship between the two.  
> They just get each other - they have a different way of thinking, and are on the same wavelength most of the time. It's why Mettaton catches himself for being rude to her when he most likely wouldn't for anyone else - they know how to communicate with each other. He actually values her respect and friendship, and he's willing to consider things more carefully where she's concerned.  
> Likewise, she's willing to give him more leeway when he's stepping out of line - she knows what he means and what he doesn't, and knows how to get him to express himself properly. That being said, there's also the assurance that there's a level of respect between them - if he legitimately breaks it or crosses a serious line, she has no obligation to stick around, and won't be bought back.  
> It's not the most conventional friendship, but they work for each other, which is what's important.
> 
> All in all, things are moving forward - slowly, but steadily. Nothing is quite coming together, but it's become more and more undeniable that there's a legitimate mystery here.
> 
> See y'all next time, hopefully a touch sooner! Comments and criticism are always appreciated!


End file.
